May 04, 2011

Nothing is Gonna Change my Love for You

Hi Journal

Sterling again with another update on me. I knew I really disliked Catherine's boyfriend but what he just said put him over the top. Me, Caty, and Jordan were watch my favourite show, Sonny with a Chance ( what can I say, I love watching my girl, Demi Lovato, act, sing and being her adorable, beautiful. genuine self on screen though she has the same sweet, sensitive, adorable, genuine, down to earth, beautiful inside and out personality in real life as she does on screen. When SWAC is on, my eyes stay glued to the screen, my mind focused on every move and word that my girl says and does so not to miss anything my angel is doing and I think in my head every time I see "Chad" being all romantic and sweet to his lady how much I wish I had the once in a lifetime chance to be that romantic and do sweet, caring things for my Demi to show her a little bit of how much i'm in love with her) and Jordan commented that dam that girl who plays Sonny is hot and how if he got his hands on her, she would be in trouble which is a good thing cause according to the recent reports about her she seems to be a bad girl that needs to be punished. Let's just say that Jordan got smacked upside the head from Cat and the evil eye from me for that comment.

Um number one thing; Demi isn't hot, like I said before she is drop dead gorgeous and like any other women she needs to be given the most upmost respect from all individuals she meets besides if someone calls you hot that means they are just looking at what you look like on the outside but don't take the time to look deep inside the person to see if they are as attractive inside as they obviously are on the outside.

Second thing; if Jordan ever did met Demi, he would have a chance in heck to win her affections. Demi may have dated guys who looked like they were trouble with their tattoos, punk rock style of their hair and fashions and hung out with what some people would think are sketchy characters who in reality the boys that Demi dated were nice people. The only thing I could find fault with them is that they were dating the women of my dreams and were able to show Demi the affection and attention that i wish I could lavish on Demi myself.

As for the recent reports that depicted my Demi as a bad girl and more importantly a bad role model to her younger fans, I know her fans are one of the most important people in Demi's life besides her friends and family, I mean without their love and support Demi would have probably not have gotten as far and been as popular as she is without her fans, I mean I know she is extremely talented and gifted with music and acting but still talent can only get you so far, they are totally wrong and are just gossip designed to make the media more money and attention.

How is it Demi's fault that there were some immature,jerkish, brainless individuals at my sweetie's elementary school where were insanely jealous of my little angel's immense talent and the fact that she was already on TV starting her Hollywood dream while they probably had no idea what they wanted to do with their future. I have seen photos of Demi as a child and she was the most adorable,chubby checked, beautiful smile with the adorable little gap in her teeth that I wish she never got fixed, talented little girl ever seen on TV. When I am flipping through channels and come across Barney, i have to check it out to see if Demi is in the show and if so then I watch the episode though I have grown out of Barney a while back.

My poor Demi was so tortured during that time, the popular girls even wrote a petition asking how many people didn't like her, who would come up with that dumb idea? I mean what don't they have something better to do at night like homework and spending time with their friends and families instead of coming up with immature, pointless ideas to bully Demi. They even wrote on her yearbook pictures slur words and degrading terms, what an brilliant idea to remind her in the future when she is famous, loved by millions of people and extremely successful in her life how immature and crude her classmates were.

I can see how going through that torture for years without so much as an explaination other then the one i already told you about that my sweetie would cry to her mom to be home schooled. Thank God she had Selena to support her through the entire time and heck if I want to be honest Selena had supported her up until last year when the girls' two rising careers kind of put a wedge into their sister like friendship but hopefully Dem and Selena will pick up their friendship so that is becomes what it used to be shortly cause I know that Demi misses her friend very much. I can understand how all those years of teasing would affect my darling's mental state.

My baby's mental state took another hit when after she starred in the smash hit "Camp Rock", which after I realized that the young women I had bee fallen for was in that movie i went to the video store to rent the movie, snuggled into my nest of blankets, sat down and watched the movie. Man did Dem Demi blow me away with her beautiful, angelic singing voice, mile wide smile that just melted my heart and of course her adorable, baby-faced, innocent face and shy, sweet, sometimes feisty personality which is how at the time I viewed her, what at the beginning Dems was an adorable little ball of sunshine who brightened your day with a smile or a preview of her angelic laughter that makes you want to do anything, even if it is dorky, to hear it again and she hasn't changed much over the years of knowing her, she has just gotten even more gorgeous over the years, if that is possible and her personality has just gotten better and brighter since meeting her.

It turns out that some people didn't think Demi was that talented, they must be blind as well as as tome deal cause Demi is definitely talented and whoever doesn't think so is kidding themselves, and was using the three brothers who guest starred with her, but more about them later, because they were so popular with the teens and had been in the music department longer then her so obvious Demi needed them to boost her music career, it couldn't have been her heart-warming, self written, stick in your memory songs that show her fans that she has been through all the heartache and pain that they have and she got through it so can they and also her amazing acting that makes it seem like she isn't really acting but being herself in front of the camera I can't help myself I have to listen to her CDs almost every night and can't but become fixated with whatever Demi is, whether it be a movie or a TV show . Demi would never use anyone for her own benefit unlike someone else, not mentioning names, it just isn't in her nature. So of course these girls had to tell others of their "hatred" of Demi online cause they couldn't just keep their opinions to themselves or even between their friends who shared their opinions, oh no they had to share their hatred with Dems.

I know that Dem tried not to let the hatred words get to her, she would tell us that she got hate again with a monotone, "whatever" tone but if you listened closely you could hear the pain and insecurity in her voice that just screamed "Why don't people like me?". Of course me and her friends would do everything in our power to convince her that these girls were just extremely jealous that not only she has immense talent in pretty much anything she does, I haven't seen anything she has tried and hasn't totally rocked on, but that she isn't afraid to be the young women that she wants to be and not becoming a clone of the media industries while they are still trying to find themselves and are scared to break away from their cliques for fear of rejection. Then of course we did everything in our power to make her smile her gorgeous smile and laugh her melodious laughter once again by suggesting that the insults were kind of compliments, these girls knew that Demi was very talented and will go far in this industry so they are trying to discourage her so she quits and their little world gets better.

The final blow to my angel's self esteem that made her go into the treatment centre was because of the biggest jerk, poser, fake individual whose name doesn't even deserve to have his name mentioned. You think after being best friends who share everything with for over three years you would know a person in and out but unfortunately my sweet angel realized the hard way that wasn't the case in some circumstances. I mean Dem and I have been best friends for 3 years and I feel like I have really gotten to know her heart and mind so that we can finish each other's sentences and that we both feel comfortable enough with each other to tell the other person our deepest secrets of the heart and mind.

First of all let me just say that my Demi is so affectionate, she is the type of person who will give you her heart the entire way with no reservations and no holding back when she is in love with someone she gives them 100% of her. She isn't afraid to show how much she loves someone with lots of hugs, kisses, cuddles and hand holding either in private or in the public's eye, all which I gladly will accept anytime she wants as it is torture not to be able to kiss those soft, kissable lips, hold her small, lithe, fragile, soft body in my arms, hold her small and fragile hand in my own so it feels like I can protect her from the world and its trials and the cuddling up to her is heaven, feeling her lithe, curvy, soft, flower scented body against my side and have her arms intertwined with mine so we have to hold hands in order to be comfortable whenever I want to.

So of course Jerkward saying that he didn't want their relationship to be so public, though to be all serious it was really Demi who did most of the lovey dovey, romantic displays of affection when they were outside but like I said my girl is just an affectionate person and she was "in love" with this guy so why wouldn't she want to show the world how much she loves him. The guy would be a cold fish whenever Dems would show him some love, if it was me I would be an equal participant in the affection department, hey I can hardly contain myself when we have to act coupley on SWAC cause alll the displays of affection and sweet, romantic things "Chad" says and does is the kinds of things I want to be able to do and say to my very own Sonny.

If I was dating Dem, no other women would ever take my eyes, thoughts or love from her as no other women could ever compare to my angel so why bother look at them? My heart only belongs to one girl and one girl only. Anyway, Mr Loser turned out to be cheating on my girl with some girl from the Twilight saga, don't even recognize the name cause I'm not a Twilight fan. He even flew out on a day off from the tour to visit this girl instead of hanging out with Demi. Whenever I get a chance off of work, I definitely would take that time to hang out with my girl even if we just stay in the house and talk in our pjs if I'm with my girl I'm in heaven and having a blast. I can't stay away from Demi, according to my mom and our friends who tease me that I have a Demi radar that tells me when Demi is nearby and that I follow her around like a pathetic puppy whenever we are in the same room.

Mr Poser broke my angel's heart after dating her for one month. His reasons were so stupid and so fake, he said that he didn't like the fact that their relationship was in every magazine and every time they have a talk show, one how is it Demi's fault that all the interviewers ask her about your guys's relationships and that the media thinks you two are "darling" together and practically hound you guys constantly for pictures of you guys being all "lovey dovey"? and that he didn't want to ruin their close friendship, it would have been admirable if I didn't find out the real reason afterward, cause if Demi doesn't feel the sparks, the earth stoping and then moving at an alarming speed whenever we are together then I don't want to ruin our close friendship, her friendship is just as important as her love is to me and I wouldn't want to ruin it, even if I miss out on experiencing True Love.

Mr Faker probably dumped my sweet angel because he had found someone else who was as fake, a poser and a wannabe star just like him so why shouldn't they be together? He wasn't there as a best friend when Demi was crying her eyes out over the phone about feeling like she is not worthy of anyone's love who will truly and forever love her for being herself not the girl they want her to be, sweetheart you are defiently worthy of my love and I wouldn't change a thing aobut you, I love you for you and I would never change you for anything why bother when you are the perfect women for me in my eyes.

We spent many nights consoling her with her balling her eyes out in our arms, though I always had wanted to hold Demi really close in my arms, stroking her hair and whispering in her ear though I had wanted to whisper romantic sayings and endearments in her ear instead of reassurance that yes she was in major pain right now but it will go away with their loving friends and family helping her the whole way.

My sweet angel started to think low of herself, I mean like I previously said Demi and this guy has been best friends for 3 years and she thought really knew him but apparantly Mr. Fake had been just that faking that he acutally had a heart, values and a conscience for all those years and that he would always be there for Demi, through good and bad times and loved her like a sister who he would protect thtough anytihng but where was that attitude when Demi needed him the most, the place in my angel's life that she is in right now she needs a ll the support and love she can get.

Our love and support of course only doubled when many of a nights we would get a text saying "Help I need someone to talk to" and so we would of course rush to the phone to see what is happening with our girl. Demi would quickly answer the phone practically in tears when we would ask her gently what happened.

My poor sweetie wasn't having a lick of fun of the tour, the highlight of the tour was when her loyal, true fans would practically freak out with screams, chants of her name and "I Love You"" and singing her sings back to her with tears in their eyesk, believe me when me and the rest of our friends went to her concert we were just like the others, we screamed, jumped and sang at the top of our lungs. I enjoyed every moment of seeing my sweet girl perform her heart out, she sang like an angel, her dnace movies put the most taltned cheographer to shame and her gorgoeus smile just lighted up her face and the whole auditorium, we didn't really need the strobe lights to light up the stage all we needed was Demi's smile. But then again when didn't I enjoy seeing my sweetie perfrom?

Plus it turns out Mr Immature and Ms Cheater were on the tour together making out at every turn and pretty much being all over each other every chance they got. Um why is "she" even on the tour, she isn't part of the tour at all. It was probably because she couldn't stand her new little boy toy being around his drop dead, way out of his league ex-girlfriend around him 24\7, what if he actually grew a heart and wanted to either get back with Demi or be friends again? That would totally ruin her plan of having a guy who would do anything for her with no thought of having a mind of his own, all she has to do is bat her eyes and coo to him in a sickly baby voice and he would be mush. I mean yes I turn to mush whenever my angel looks my way or speaks to me or even touches my arm but hey i still have a mind of my own and if I think that what Demi was asking me was imoral, wrong, disgusting or would hurt someone else I wouldn't do it.

Ms Cheater actually bullied my girl about everything about her talent, ok so you might hink that Demi isn't talented but her millions of loyal fans, her two CDs sales, and the ratings of SWAC for the last two seasons prove you so wrong I'm proud to say, to the amount of food she puts in her mouth. Um excuse me I love that Demi isn't stick thin, she has some meat on her bones which makes her be filled out incrediblly well. And no one did anything to help her instead they blamed Demi cause apparently she was jealous of Mr Cheating Heart's new relationship, even though he was chating on her during their relationship and even though he insisted on not having a public relationship he has done nothing to discourage this one from going the same route, I mean I can't go online or pick up a magazine witohut seeing their barfness lovey dovey-sucking face pictures.

Ya i don't think Demi would be jeaous of her ex and his new relationship, I mean i know that he was the one who broke up with her but she had been starting to get over that fact, rthanks to the love, support and funny but true comments about what her friends wanted to do to him if we ever met him in public which made Demi laugh so hard that she did the cute snort thing that she does only when she laughs really hard, and had been trying to see if their friendship could be savaged, um sweetie i know that you wouldn't want a friend who isn't 100% real or true to you as well as himself and ditches her morals, values and upbringing for fame, money and more exposure. I hope after this tour she puts that sweet little daydream to bed.

It turns out that my angel is the butt of every joke on this tour, she is being treated like she is just a background dancer or extra instead of one of the main stars of the movie plus she is a key singer on the tour so give her the respect she deserves. Demi was getting the cold shoulder and being looked down on like she was beneeth them, um no I don't think so Demi as well as everyone else in this world deserves all the respet that they themselves would want.

I love hanging out with my angel, if I had a choice, i would spend as much time as I was able to until Demi got fed up with being with her 24\7 and kicked me out of her house and I would still come back the next day to see if she wanted to hang out, that is how much I love soending time with get. So i don't get the fact why the cast of the Camp Rock tour didn;t want to spend time with my girl, I won't list the reasons why she is so fun to be around cause I have already listed them but believe me Demi is one of my favourite people to hang out with and it isn't like they haven't spent time with her alone before, they did two movies with her and I'm pretty sure they have hung out before and obviously loved it cause they kept on hanging out with her.

But if they were seen with my sweet darling then they wouldn't get gigs or get a shoutout from the family who'se father was my sweet angel's manager who unfortunately held my baby's future career in his hands, I mean I already know that with her angelic singing voice, really personal heart-warming songs and wonderful personality that Demi will go extremely far in whatever business she decides to venture into but witohut a manager there is only so much promoting an individual can do on their own. That is why they would treat their "best friend" and "honary sister" like she was dirt cause they were covering their own butts and egos not caring what their actions and descions were doing to my poor sweetie's psyche.

They are so fake and two faced, they pretended to be one of Demi's best friends but really they were just using her obvious talent and fame with all the teens to boost their own career and when Demi found out about their plan or they latched on to the next conquest leaving my poor honey in the dust with a broken heart and psyche.

All they really cared aobut was themeselves, I know in my heart that none of Demi's real friends, Marissa,Nohlan and of course her friends on SWAC would ever use Demi for their own personal gain for more fame, exposure and money, they love Demi like real friends who would never do anything to hurt or disappoint Demi in any way and who like and are friends with Demi because they like her personality and her as a person not as an ATM and a money making scheme.

it seemed like me, Tiffers, Dougie and Brand as well as her family seemed to be the only ones who really talked to her the whole tour, as you can imagine I love talking to my sweetie cause we always have sometihng to talk aobut for hoursd until our parents kick us off the phone telling us that the other person will still be there the next day to continue our conversation. And they are right, darn it, the next time we talk or even see each other even it is days or even weeks after it was like we were never apart, the conversation flows so fluidly and freely, we never run out of things to say. Not that I didn't actually look forward each day for our nightly talks cause I would count down the hours till I heard Demi's gorgeous voice on the phone.

I'm not commending Demi for hiting Shorty but on the other hand I can see where she is coming from;I mean if I had been awake for a night because of a loud party next door that you had asked numerous times really nicely to please turn it down,i'm pretty sure that the rest of the people on that floor were aking the same thing and probably not as polite as my honey. Plus Demi getting the cold shoulder and the brush off from her suppose friends for months and being blamed for some girl's petiness and no one stopping the bullying becuase they were worried about themselves had taken its toll on my angel. So yes she hit Shorty once in the face then walked away to confess her wrongdoings to her mom, there was no damage to Ms Shorty's face besides a black eye so there is no way she would get the amount of money she is asking for because all she needed was some ice, that't it.

Irt sickened me that Shorty went to the media to blow the whole incident out of proportion,I mean one she was out partying the night afterward and didn't leave the tour so she couldn't have been that tramuaized or hurt as bad as she claimed and two Demi, being in the treatment centre at that time to deal with her declining self esteem and self worth issues, couldn't defend herself from these rumors and lies, to tell her own side of the story. As wellas those rumors there were other ones like Demi being in the cventre for drug abuse and cutting herself, which isn't true at all, Demi isn't the type of person who would hurt herself to relive the tension, stress and issues she has hidden inside, she knws rthat she has people who love her and would be for her to listen openly and honestly to any of the issues she might have. Then there were those somewhat sexy pictures of my girl and her friends doing sexy poses for the camera, it actually wasn't all that sexy, I mena yes i could see some more of my girl's bust, not that i am focused so much on it like some guys and yes I saw some tummy but that's it. it wasn't as if she was naked or sexy langunie and posing in a sexy pose,she was just goofing around with her friends just like any other person who is hanging with their friends, no big deal guys. But of course the people online had to talk about it like it was a big scandel. Ok over reacting people.

What was worse that some of her fans were starting to doubt Demi's intergity and began to pull away from supporting Demi through this difficult point in her life and would actually badmouth her when confronted by her true and loyal fans who actually looked inside their hearts to see that the rumors and gossip being sad about Demi wasn't real, they were just trying to make more money and more fame, so they stood behind Demi the entire time. they would stand up against those haters and defend Demi tooth and nail which I love them for like @Franciinii, @Here4DDLovato (you and me both honey), @HellYeahStemi01 ( I love that username cause if I had my wish Stemi would be a reality) and @DemiLovato_Indo just to name a few of Demi's loyal fans. I know that I would stand up 100% for my lady against everyone who thought that just because Demi has made some mistakes in her life means that she is a fake, a posser and not worth their time and energy. Um hello who said you were perfect that you don't make any mistakes that you later regret? I didn't think so so what gives you the right to judge my girl because she is only human and makes mistakes? I knew that you guys couldn't come up with an excuse so why try to?

People may be wishy washy on whether to support Demi or not but not me. I have loved her for 3 years and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I didn't fall in love with her because I thought she was perfect cause I knew that even though I call her my angel, I know that she isn't really an angel. She is only human like me, she will make the same kind of mistakes I do and that is one of the reasons I love her, she isn't afraid to admit she makes the same mistakes as her fans do which makes her a wonderful role model to her fans because she teaches them to learn from their mistakes and move on.

I don't expect her to be perfect, all I want for her is to admit when she has made a mistake and make amends for it, apologize to the apporpriate individuals as well as herself, learn from the mistake and move on with her life with new knowledge of what not to do in the future if that circumstance arises again.

I know in my heart of hearts that when Demi comes out of the treatment centre a stronger, both mentally and emotionally young women, she is going to blow everyone away with her talent, I wish her to do another season of Sonny with a Chance cause I need my daily Demi fix everyday. She is one of the reasons I enjoy going to the studio and I need my Demi fix or I will go mad. Then I wanted my sweetie to move on from Disney, they were just a stepping stone for her career, and do something else. She is really good at making people laugh with her antics and bloopers so I would love her to do either a comedy movie or TV Show which of course I will watch with open, loving eyes cause I know she will kill it.

I have seen Demi in Grey's anatomy and I was actually nervous when "Hallie" had that needle with the life threatening meds in it and threatening to put it in her since no one believes she wasn't crazy, I know that Demi would never hurt herself but still my eyes were locked on the screen the entire time Demi was on. Even though Demi didn't have many scenes or lines, I thought the elderly couple who had found each other after so many years was so romantic, I thought she rocked doing a drama. She made me think she wasn't really acting so why not the audience?

Along with doing a drama series or movie, I can't wait for Demi's 3rd CD, though I understand that she needs time to collect herself and go over in her head and heart about all the advice the doctors' said and all the life lessons she has learned over the last few months before she can get back to work. I know that it will be hard for Demi to top her last CDs but I still can't wait to hear her new sound, I wonder if it will be as edgier, more rock as she promised?. All I know is that it will rock and be warm welcomed by all her eafer fans who are counting down to the date the CD is released. I want a definite date so I can put it on my calender to do a countdown when I can rush to the store to buy it when it comes out.

So in short, Demi isn't a "bad girl", she is just misunderstood right now by the public because of her mistakes so she needs to come home and set the record straight on what is being said about her and so she can move on with her life as happy and fulfilled as she can be. I love her no matter what she will say and do in the future and will support her in all avenues she does or wants to try out in the future and lastly I can't wait for my secheduled "Demi time" tommarrow, I have missed my girl so much in the week we were apart, she was always on my mind the entire time but what else is new ;). I better go pack. So bye for now journal.

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