Journal of Laura Marano
I have never been so nervous in my entire life to do something I need to do. And I have been acting since I was 6 which is never an easy business to be in. There is of course the whole audition process which may aid in the lowering of self esteem, being unsure about actually having talent and a future in the acting business.
But what I am about to do, I know will sends chills down my spine, the butterflies in my tummy to flutter like mad and my stomach to clutch like mad until it hurts. When that happens i want to do whatever it takes to get that uneasy-almost pukey feeling out of there before I embarass myself.
You think going to audition after audition complete with rejection would prepare a girl to do something nerve wracking. I mean all I had to do was ask the guy of my dreams to go with me to a simple school event. But according to my butterlfies in my tummy, this event is major nerve wracking in itself.
You are probably asking who the guy of my dreams is and why I am so nervous to ask him to a life event. I will answer all your questions and hopefully you will understand. First of all, some of you will be dumbstruck when I tell you but some will be like "Tell us something new. We already knew you loved him" so here we go.
I am head over heels, don't want to live without, thank God everyday that he was put into my life, hoping and praying he feels the same way or I'll be crushed in love. The guy is one of the sweetest, charming, kindest, down to earth, romantic but not cheesy, hilarious, talented and one of my best friends ever (drumroll please) Ross Shor Lynch.
Now everyone is asking me: "Laura if you are so in love with Ross, why on earth haven't you told him before now and why are you so nervous to ask Ross a simple question?." Here is the answer, Ross is my best friend and if I ever did anything to alter one of the best friendship in the negitive way, I wouldn't forgive myself. That is how much Ross and our friendship means to me.
I am not fully blind. Even though Ross is a total flirt when we are together, his body language, the tone of his voice and the way acts around me changes. It is more of a guy trying with minimum words to tell the girl who is important and who he cares for how much he loves her. So I should know that he shares the same feelings as me or at least I am hoping I am not seeing the things I want to see.
I want to invite Ross to my school's prom but I don't want things to become awkward between us. I mean usually people who are in a romantic relationship go together so they can slow dance in each other's arms and gaze lovingly into each other's eyes as the world disappears.
Not to say that I didn't throughly enjoy the slow dance that "Austin" and "Ally" shared in "Club Owners and Quinceaneras" and the amount of practicing Ross and I shared. I swear we both screwed up on purpose just so we would be able to stay in each other's personal space for as long as we could before it was impartative we pull apart.
My hands smelled like the cocoa butter hand cream that he uses for hours afterward, then again I tried not to wash my hands for as long as I could. And don't get me started on the calming techniques I used that night; yoga, bubble bath, sitting on my bedroom floor breathing deeply and of course giving myself 10 minutes to fangirl like a madwoman before moving on.
I guess my fangirling session was so loud and boisterious that Nessa came rushing into my room asking me if I was ok cause she heard me from downstairs. But she totally forgave me when I told her of why I was making such a ruckus and hung on my every word as I retold of the sweet, special, magical and romantic moments of my day. She is as much of a hopeless romantic as me so there have been lots of fangirling about our dream guys.
Since Nessa figured out that I had fallen in love with Ross though that wasn't too hard to see. Apparently Ross and I aren't exactly subtle when it comes to our feelings for each other. She and I have spent a lot of nights planning out each and every detail of how Ross and I should confess our love after I gush about the sweet and romantic moment Ross and I or or characters shared during the day.
I wrote down what exactly i wanted to say to Ross and practiced in the mirror until i was certain I could ask Ross to be my prom date without stuttering, I am surprised that I can actually have a complete and understandable conversation with Ross. When he looks me in my eyes or should I say my soul with those beautiful hazel pools of gorgoeusness, I become a Laura puddle of mush.
Tommarrow is the day so wish me luck diary. i am going to need it.
End of Journal Entry
Laura was so nervous when she woke up that she felt like she was going to be sick, thankfully she wasn't. So after a few steady and deep breaths, she dressed in one of her lucky outifts; a ruby red dress that flitters around her knees and a white cardigan complete with wedge sandles with her hair curled.
She found Ross in the hair and make-up department with Gretal-Anna. With a deep breath, Laura walked in, smiled, sat down in the chair while saying "hi" to Gretal, the 25 year old young woman who treated the cast like younger siblings.
"Hey girlie. Ok let's get you into the chair and make you beautiful though that shouldn't be hard. I haven't found any make-up that can outshine your natural beauty so this shouldn't take long. By the way, my niece was telling me the hustle and bustle of her upcoming prom aka what dress she should wear and how it is going to be so romantic to slow dance with her boyfriend. So little missy, is your school's prom coming up? Have you thought about your dress? The guy you want to dance and laugh the night away? Come on girlie details."Gretal said with her snappy and witty speech.
"Well yes my school's prom is coming up and I have my ideal prom date. He is my dream guy, he is sweet, sensitive, romantic , easy to talk to and be around. Did I mentioned he is extremely handsome. I hope when I ask him he will say "yes" Laura said as she tried to look at Ross from the corner of her eye.
Ross's eyes were blazing with envy, anger and jealous complete with fists clentched as Laura was talking. This made Laura's heart leap in delight as it was confirmation that there was a strong possibility that he felt the same about her. Gretal semeed to get the hint that Laura had been describing Ross though it wasn't exactly a set secret about the true feelings of the two teens.
There was even a bet between Calum, Raini, Ross and Laura's families and the crew about when Ross and Laura will gather the courage to admit their love to the person they have been in love with since the first table read. And from the description of Laura's dream guy and Ross's reaction to the possibility of another guy having won his fair maiden's heart made Gretal squeal with happiness inside. It looks like whoever picked the week of April 15th is going to be $5x 14 bucks richer. I have to look at the list of the people who is on the bet. I think it was Vanessa.
"Oh i am sure your dream man would never ever have the nerve to say no (gives Ross a pointedly look as if to say "open your eyes boy, she was talking about you but he was pretending to be off his own world).
You are a total sweetie so any guy would have to be crazy not to fall instantly in love with you. I have a feeling your dream guy is just as in love with you as you are with him so all you need to do is ask. The he will say yes while trying to look and sound cool but fail and then you two kids can start your own love story.
Oh shoot, I forgot the special clips i wanted to put in your hair in my car so I am going to go get them." Gretal said as she thought of an excuse to leave the room. With her gone, Gretal was hoping Laura would have the chance to ask Ross to her prom and maybe even admit he was the guy she was describing.
Things got silent in the room while Laura gathered all her nerve to tell Ross that her detailed description of her dream man was actually a thin veiled description of him. Even if this was not the place Laura ever thought she would open her heart to Ross but hey if the universe thought it was the right time then so be it.
"Um Ross, speaking of proms, if you aren't too busy though I am sure you probably have a R5 thing to do or a family thing cause you are a very busy young man. But I was wondering if you would mind being my date?
I totally understand if you say no but I thought wouldn't it be fun to go to my prom with one of my best friends" Laura rambled on while wringing her hands in worry and anticipation of Ross's answer. His answer could either make her super happy or in a rush to salvage hers and Ross's friendship if he said no.
" Laura I would do anything for you, even if it means missing out on a family thing cause you are one of the most important person besides my family in my life. So never be worried about asking me anything. I would love to go to prom with you but what your dream man?
Won't he be mad about not being asked to escort you to the prom first?" Ross said with two balls in his stomach. There was happiness at being asked to escort a young woman he had been falling in love with since the beginning to anywhere that he could be alone with Laura and a ball of sadness about Laura being in love with someone other then himself.
"Awww you are such a sweetheart Ross Lynch. Don't worry about my dream man, one day he will understand the depth of my feelings for him. He is being shy about how he really feels for me.
OMG we are going to have so much fun together" Laura said while trying to balance the fact that once again Ross had melted her heart with few words and trying to hold down her gushing and squealing at the fact that she was going to prom with the man of her dreams until she was safely in her dressingroom.
"Well I gotta go. Darn it cause I was enjoying spending some time with you, it seems like we are always busy with stuff. I miss my Ross-Laura time. But I gotta go, see you later beautiful." Ross said as he gave Laura a little kiss on the crown of her head and then walked backwards towards the door like he wanted to file her image in his mind for as long as he could.
Laura bounced in her seat when Gretal came back to do her hair and make-up and practically ran to her dressingroom. Once the door was closed Laura's excitement, joy and happiness burst through and the room was filled with a combination of bouncing around the room with lots of squeals and rambles of words of excitement that only Laura could understand .
Once Laura tired herself out from the immense happiness she was feeling. She just needed to get her second wind is all and she was about to get it. I mean when a girl has this exciting news to share, who better to share it with but your best friend?
So once Laura collapsed onto her couch, a mile wide smile with hints of remaining happiness dancing in her chocolate orbs, she texted Raini. Her fingers flew over the keyboard so they were blurs of light. She had barley sent it when Raini's response came back in capital letters: "OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME! YOU FINALLY DID SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR ROSS. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. HOLD ON I WILL BE THERE IN TWO MINUTES TO FANGIRL WITH YOU AND HELP YOU PLAN OUT ROSS AND YOURS' MAGICAL NIGHT.
True to her word, Raini was there within seconds. The instant Raini was in the room, there was more jumping up and down while holding on tight to the other's arms and yelling "Yeah! Yeah!" Then once that gush fest was over, Laura had to go over each and every detail of how she had asked Ross.
"Ok so now the fangirling is over for now, let's talk about clothes and hair. Do you have any ideas of what kind of dress you want to wear? I would say that the best kind of dress for your body shape would be a short bubble style dress either one shoulder or strapless.
Please for the love of all that is holy don't put your hair in that off to one shoulder thing (see "Tickets & Trashbags"). Then Ross won't be be focusing on how beautiful you look and falling even more in love with you. He will be fixing your hair all night,not that you or him would mind the excuse to touch." Raini said in what seems like one breath as she lounged on the couch. Her neck was getting tired of watching Laura pace back and forth as the thoughts of what she needed to do to make sure this prom was magical for both her and Ross. She had time to glance over her shoulder with a "very funny" look for Raini's last comment.
"Ok breathe Raini. Sheesh is that how I sound when i ramble? Anyway, as the best friend you know and love, I spent most of last night daydreaming about my favorite dress, the one that will make me look like a mature and beautiful 18 year old that Ross won't be able to keep his eyes off. I have decided that I would like my dress to be flowy, not puffy and strapless so I can feel like a princess gliding around the floor with my Prince Charming." Laura said as she brought her laptop over to the couch to collapse beside Raini.
For the next hour the girls went through what seemed like hundreds of dresses online. Laura and Raini both decided that the best way to figure out the perfect dress for Laura that fits her personality and body type is to go to as many dress stores as possible.
To get a guys' POV , Laura wanted to make sure that whatever dress she wore would make Ross's jaw drop, eyes bug out and his tongue get tied. Any other response wasn't acceptable for Laura. She wanted Ross to have a serious conversation with his brain and heart after the prom.
Laura caught up with Calum as she was leaving, he pulled her aside and gave her a "big brother" hug: "Awww I am so proud. My little sissy took the first step towards her own happines. I am glad that you finally took our advice and did something about your obvious feelings for Ross.
I am surprised that I am not deaf by the amount of screaming and squealing Ross was doing after you asked him. Not to mention the floor didn't collapse from the amount of jumping he was doing. Believe me he is super duper happy to be spending a night with you all lovey dovey. So if you need help with your dress, I am so your man. "
Laura was speechless for a few minutes. But once she got her wits back she hugged Calum back: "Thanks Cal. I always knew that I could count on my "big brother" for fashion advice cause not everyone can pull off "Dez's" original styles but someone who knows something about fashion. If you can handle a day with us girls you are more then welcome to join us for dress shopping. It will be nice to have a guys' opinion."
The next few weeks went by super duper fast. It seemed like every free minute she had, Laura was online checking to see the newest dresses in stock at the local dress shops. She printed them off so when she and her little posse of Rydel, Vanessa, Raini and Calum went they went to the store. It seemed like no matter what kind of dress, style or color, she tried on, not everyone liked it. There was never a dress that rated 10 out of the 4 people out there. Laura felt like she was about to give up finding the dress that made her feel beautiful and knew inside that this was "the dress"
Until the gang went into "Chic Boutique" and after the fourth dress Laura got the response she was looking for: smiles from ear to ear from everyone, a big "10" from all and proclaimations of how beautiful she looked in that dress. This is the dress that I will be wearing on the magical night when I will be in the man of my dreams' arms drowing out the world. Can't wait for Ross to see my dress. I hope he thinks I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.
Note: I am being super mean right now. I am allowing the readers to describe or send me a picture of the dress that they believe Laura should wear and I will pick my fave.