June 23, 2011

Perfect Plan Ruined

I am the type of man who likes when things go his way and when people do what he wants when he wants it cause I am a man and a celebrity which entitles me to whatever I want with no question or reason. My brothers have gotten whatever we wanted since we were youngern all Nick, Kevin and me had to do was tell our parents that we wanted something and they would buy it for us even if they didn't have the money for it.

My wanting and needs only got bigger and more extravagent the first time that Kevin, Nick and me brought out our first CD, the young people couldn't get enough of us, naturally, so they bought anything and everything that either had our names, pictures or even voices on it which brought us in more money which we spent on things that we needed like a big house cause I had to make a statement that I was a God who deserved only the biggest, most extravegant and most expensice things around him.

To add to my image I need some hot dumb who will do whatever I want without any arguement. I want a women from the 60's, a girl who will cook, clean and take care of my heirs, I want a lot of heirs to carry on the good name of Jonas and install my wonderful qualities and personalities to . Pretty much I want a slave to my every whim and wish, someone to use as a doormat.

But all of those girls, they are not fit to be called women, that I dated didn't fit my image of a "perfect" servant. They started off ok, they made sure that my needs and wants were put ahead of theirs .But then they expected me to treat them as my equals, um no woman were put on this Earth to make sure that man lived the life they want, and treat them with the affection that they gave me so it was bye for them.

The chick, Celeste, I'm going to marry is ok. She is gone for months at a time because of her job as a model. Her absence is perfect for me as I can act like a single young man which means I can cheat on Celeste with any of the girls who throw themselves at me. I have cheated on her over 20 times and even when we take the plunge I won't stop cheating on her cause a guy can't be expected to be faithful when he is in high demand.

You are probably wondering why I am marrying Celeste when I don't really love her or won't be completely faithful to her and the answer is, Celeste has been with me for 7 years and has been pestering me for years to make a life time commitment to her and she doesn't put a lot of pressure on me to be the man of her dreams so I thought I owe her to get married to her cause I know that she loves me for me and not my money.

I was out with one of my friends, Jared, at a local bar and after a few drinks and stories about the woman we were banging behind our fiances' back, we started to dare each other to do stupid things like eating a lemon or jumping on the bar and singing at the top of our lungs. Then Jared dared me that I couldn't get one of my exes, who apparantly were mad at me for dumping them through the use of my cellphone (why would I risk getting hurt physcially by their feelings?), to fall in love with me so that after the wedding she will agree to become my mistress. Is he nuts, I can get any woman to fall madly in love with me, I do it all the time. Woman can't help but fall in love with me.

We bet $150 bucks and Jared picked out the only one of my exes that was not only hitched but had brats; Demi Lovato or should I say Knight. Demi married is funny to me because she was always a pushover, always putting others before herself so all a guy has to do is show her some affection and she will do anything he wants. This guy probably found out that Demi wouldn't bang him unless he married her so that is the reason he did so he could get some.

Dam Demi grew a backbone since we last talked which was at least 7 years ago. In order for her to talk to me I had to fake aplogize for hurting her in the past, ya right she should be aplogizing to me for not trying harder to be my dream girl, and promise never to hurt her again, the words choked in my throat cause I wanted to hurt her some more as it made me feel like a big important person which of course I am but I remembered that I was trying to win the bet so I choked out the words. Dumb broad actually believed me when I said that I was sorry for my past mistakes.

I tried my usual flirting and forms of affection that had worked so well the first time to get Demi to agree to date me aka going to the set of her TV show, which sucked so badly I can't believe that people found them funny or entertaining, communicating through Twitter pretending to care about what things were happening in her life and putting little bits of flirting and innunedoes in my messages and taking her out to dinner to a nice restuarant, dam girl was being so stubborn about being faithful to her hubby and both times her husband came with us.

I remember Sterling Knight as being such a loser and a wannabe actor so I guess they are perfect for each other. He was so obviously in love with Demi when we were dating, he would call her the grossiest nicknames like "sweetie" and "honey", would actually listen to her dribble and actually cared about her and her feelings\opinions, what a wuss and an embarassment to all mankind. I guess his pathetic wishes were answered or Demi knew that she had the best aka me and had to settle for the 2nd best.

It was so frustrating, from my first sign of affection and flirting Demi should have became a puddle at my feet and become a mindless slave that would do what I wish and forget all about her brats and her hubby but Demi didn't fall for any of my tricks and she was committed to keep being faithful to her stupid husband.

I'm not losing hope, I even did something sneaky, man am I good, to try to break up Sterling and Demi. I annoymously called "In Touch" magazine and told them that I have proof of Mrs Demi Knight cheating on her husband with an ex-boyfriend and they were kissing, hugging and being all up in each other's business and the losers did a story on it. What idiots, the pictures I sent them were manips done by me of pictures of Demi and me at the time when she was luckly dating me,my plan was to make Demi's little fans lose faith in their idol, what morons would think that Demi would make a good role model, and revolt against her, her husband will leave her and the beautiful little life she made for herself will fall apart and who will be there to be a shoulder to cry on, me and a crying woman is always easy to manipulate and have some fun with if you know what I mean :).

Dam the stupid magazine article might have published the article and the "Jemi" fans, who are so pathetic cause they actually believe that Demi and I are soulmates and are still in love with each other (morons, I never loved Demi, I just pretened to be in order to have some fun with her and manipulate her young innocent mind, the only person I love is me), actually were tweeting that "Jemi" was back together and hating on Demi for cheating on her hubby.

But most of the people who read the article didn't believe the story or that the pictures were real. How would you losers know? Hmm are you guys masters of computer manips? I think not so shut it. They actually defended Demi by saying that there is no way that Demi would cheat on Sterling and that the person who started the rumor is a jerk. Yes I'm proud to admit that I'm a jerk, like I said before I am a man who wants what I want and gets mad if it isn't given to me especially if it gets someone else mad or their feelings hurt.

Overall my fake photos and article didn't work out in my favour; Sterling didn't divorce Demi but defended his wife's honor, um she doesn't have honor, she's a pathetic, little, insignificant girl so why defend her? And soon the gossip went cold, dam, I guess I will have to pull out all the stops to get Demi to be my lovesick slave and what the perfect place to do that then at my own wedding. I mean there will be paparazzi there, I mean what would be the point of having a big event with lots of famous people being in one room and not having any gossip, articles and pictures to brag to the public about how much better we are then them.

When I invited Demi and her little family to the wedding, telling her that it would mean a lot to me if she would come, she agreed. Here comes the real acting folks cause by the end of the night, I will be married (not looking forward to that part) but have a mistress who will be my love slave that fulfills all my needs, wants and expectations and won't want anything back. I will get Demi and stupid, naive Celeste won't know of my plan or my mistress. (evil laugh). Demi will definetly become putty in my hands when I turn on my Jonas charm and flirting skills.

The day of the wedding I was fine with everything, to me it was a normal day, I didn't care that I was getting married cause it just meant that I would always have someone to warm my bed and bare my heirs in between my affairs with random woman. I have to say that I looked mighty handsome, like always, in my tux. On the way to the church, Kevin and my best men drank a whole lot of champaigne and joshed around, mooning people and wolf whistling to the hot chicks that drove by the limo.

I have to admit that Demi looked hot in a dark blue sleeveless dress that reached down to her kness and curled her hair to flow over her shoulders, it sure didn't look like she had been knocked up with two brats. I think someone is trying to impress me by getting all dolled up, that's right baby, gussey yourself up just for me as it's just the beginning of what I will make you do for me when you become my mistress.

I introduced Celeste and Demi, my wife and my mistress meeting but never gonna know that they will be sharing a man, and both were very cordial towards the others. Celeste kept cooing and talking baby talk to the girls, that's right baby better get used to being around babies cause you are having lots of them but there is no way that you are babying my sons cause they need to learn how to be men, real men and not whinny babies.

I pulled Demi away from the group saying that I needed to talk to her, Celeste had gone to the bathroom to freshen up (she could put on tons of makeup and dress in the finest clothes and she wouldn't look attractive at all) and Sterloser had taken both girls inside, or so I thought. i had no idea that one of the brats had followed Demi and me and was evesdropping.

I put on my most charming smile and oozed gentleness and sweetness from my voice as i took her hand and moved closer to her. I felt Demi try to pull away from me but there is no way that I am letting her go until I get what i want. I told her that I haven't been able to stop thinking of her since we broke up, I was so so sorry for all and every hurt,pain and humiliation I made her suffer both emotionally and pysically and if I could I would turn back time and stop from doing what I did and how glad I was that she had forgiven me.

In case you peabrains didn't know, all I said was lies. I had forgotten all about her cause she is so easily forgotten, hey is it my fault that she is so weak, naive and insignificant?, and I was proud that I had stood up for my rights to have a smoking hot girlfriend who will be eye and arm candy and do nothing to upstage me and if I had the choice to turn back time I would have done it the same way cause either way i got rid of an annoyance. But Demi's little brain won't know that I'm lying so who cares.

Demi said in a calm voice that I hoped meant that her heart was melting towards me and believed every word I was saying, that she had forgiven me a long time ago cause holding onto pain and anger isn't healthy for anyone's psyh (what are you a psychologist?) and that she was glad that we were on the road to being friends again.

Now to up the ante, I stepped even closer now, 2 inches seperated us now and yes Demi tried to move away but I wouldn't let her, no one is gonna to stop me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and even when Demi struggled I wouldn't let her go, she is going to listen to me whether she likes it or not cause what I'm about to say will seal the deal.

I told her that it was pointless to deny our feelings, she may be married but I could see the desire and love in her eyes whenever we were together that she couldn't hide, so I know that she felt the same way that I did. What we have is something that can't be squelched by our duties as spouses and a mother, I know that she was just scared of her feelings for me because she knows that what we had was special and the only reason she married Sterling was because she thought I wouldn't love her like I used to if she tried to tell me that she still loved me. But we can still be together, but we have to be discreet for awhile so that our spouses don't catch wind of our affair but once everything gets settled we can be together witohut any other obligations.

During my speech Demi's mouth was open and she was speechless, a fine quality in a woman and that means she is surprised by my words but is thinking along the same ways as me which means she has totally fallen for my speech. Then the side of my face hurt and I saw that Demi still had her hand up. Hey she slapped me and it hurt too. How dare she place a mark on this perfection that is my face.

I guess it was time for Demi to give a long winded speech, she said that there was no way that she loved me, she had stopped loving me the moment that I dumped her for Ashley and sank our 3 year friendship down the drain when I treated her like dirt and nothing and now all she felt for me is pity because even though I am older in age I'm not older in maturity if I think that me faking feelings for her would make her want to leave her loving, supportive, gentlemen of a husband who she knows loves her for everything that she is and wouldn't try to change her for anything. There is no way that she was leaving her husband for me.

I got fed up, there is no way that I'm losing this fight, Demi will fall in love with me and I'm not immature, I'm a man and that means that I'm very mature, resourceful and powerful so bend to my will woman and do what the man says. I was about to make a retort but all I got out was: " Hey I have spent money on you and given you my undivided attention for weeks now and so you owe me to be able to do whatever I want when I want it. I want you to be my mistress along with the other girls in order to get through this disaterious marriage of mine. I don't even love Celeste but she has paid her dues to me so why not marry her?"

Then I felt someone trying to pull on my jacket and then someone tickled me in the ribs which is my ticklish spot, dam someone knows my weaness, and then I heard a little voice: " You let go of my mommy, mister. She no like you being all lovey with her, only daddy can do that".

I had to let go of Demi and stumble back trying to lose the little pest who was seriously annoying me, I had no idea that one of Demi's brats had followed us and was trying to stop me from getting what i want. Oh when I get my hands on her, she'll be one dead girl. I'm not gonna beat her up cause she isn't worth it but I will pick her up and lock in a dark room and leave her there until she learns to keep her nose out of other people's business and to be quiet until a guy talks to her.

I turned around really fast and grabbed her by the arms, picked her up and told her that me and her mommy were having a conversation and I had every right to act all "lovey" to her mommy cause I will be her mommy's bedmate so deal with it. I felt Demi grab my hands trying to protect her brat, does she acually think she can use those weak muscles to get a muscled guy like me to drop this pipsqueak, ya right. The brat bit me and kicked me in the groin trying to get away and dam does that girl have a good kick, it made me drop her to the floor. I hope she got hurt really badly.

By this time, I felt something hit my head, what is it with people throwing stuff at me? I turned around and saw that it had been Celeste's shoe. She glared at me and said: "Well my eyes are open now. Don't worry honey I wouldn't want to saddle myself to a lier, cheater, manipulative, vain, cruel, selfish, wannbe player and rockstar jerk with no personality, no values, no talent and nothing to offer a stunning, kind, generous person who has a lot going for her kind of woman. Go on playing with your little toys cause one day karma will bite you in the butt and me and Demi will laugh at you and thank God that we don't have to deal with you. Goodbye Joseph forever"" then threw her ring at me hitting me in the eye and stomped off.

How dare she say those mean and hurtful things to me? I would have treated her well, she would have enough money to shut her up, to only say nice things about me and our marriage and be the arm candy she should be. This is not how I wanted things to go and it's all the brat's fault so she'll pay. I grabbed the brat by the arm and brought up my arm to smack her like all woman need to have in order to stay in line when someone turned me around, screamed " don't you dare touch my baby!" and hit me really hard that I twisted before heading stright down on the floor.

When I woke up, my family and my friends were all around me with smelling salts, water and words of encouragement to wake me up, I had my head in my mother's lap while she was stroking my hair, finally a woman who knows how to treat a man. Once my mind cleared up, I told everyone my side of the story. I left out the part where I tried to seduce Demi and made it seem like I was attacked by Demi's daughter and her hubby. I'm the innocent party in all this cause if Demi had just gone along with my brillant master plan then Celeste wouldn't have known about me cheating on her and not really loving her and I still would a cheater who gets some from every girl he can while projecting the image of a family men.

Everyone believed me, of course I have a honest face plus everyone believes me, and my dad even offered to sue Demi and Sterling for physical and emotional stress, that is a good thought, I would love to see Demi and Sterling suffer because they fought back when they should have just been pushovers and have to pay me lots of money for my fake injuries but if we go to court then I might be countersued for their emotional stress and that wouldn't be good for my image if the truth were said so for my own image's sake I will let it go. But I will get Demi to be my bed buddy, believe me on that fact. But dam i owe Jared $150 bucks.

1 comment:

  1. stupid joe is just so stupid he thinks he can get demi back he is dead wrong! and i am glad his soon to be wife saw he was a bad human. Joe deserves to be alone end of story. (evil laugh) >:)