Sterling + Demi = 1 Heart

The popular saying "Pinch me I'm dreaming" should be changed to "Pinch me I'm dreaming but if I'm not dreaming then don't you dare wake me up cause I'm loving this dream" cause right now I hope and pray that I'm not dreaming. I feel like I'm in my very own heaven and have been for the past 4 years; I mean what person wouldn't be in heaven knowing that they get to see the women that they have dreamed about meeting ever since they were little boys every day of their lives.

Ok so maybe that was just me cause I'm pretty sure that growing up all little boys thought about were impressing their friends' with doing stupid, immature and sometimes really dangerous stunts and pranks that is suppose to show how "brave" and "tough" they are. Well ok so to be honest I was one of those little boys who did things that I should have known would get me either seriously hurt or grounded by my parents but I still did them, not to the same extent as my friends who were always daring the others to up their own pranks and stunts or they would be labebeled as "chicken".

Plus like any other little guy I was under the impression that girls had cooties that I could get from touching them let alone letting them kiss my check which the little girls made a game of chasing the boys around the yard threatening to kiss them with lips puckered and smacking as a threatening tool. When they did catch the unspecting victim, the group of girls would gang up on him, a couple of them would hold the boy down while two girls would smother his plumb checks with loud smacks while the boy loudly protested at the "grossness" of what was happening to them. Oh by the way my mom or sister didn't count as "girls" cause to my young, innocent mind they didn't count as girls, to me they were my mommy and sissy.

But growing up seeing how much my parents still loved each other even after a number of years of being married and still acted all lovey dovey, like they were still newlyweds must have set my mind up for finding a girl when I was an adult that I could be as happy and loving with even if I did think that my parents kissing, calling each other cutsey, loving and sometimes corny endearments like "babe", "baby", "tooties" and "babycakes"and my dad still slapping my mom's butt and kissing her neck as he held her close was gag-worthy just like any other children gagged and made a huge fuss about their parents being gross in public.

I could say that my past relationships were huge mistakes cause most of the girls I have dated have been manipulative, vain, selfish and using me for my fame and popularity with the public for their own gain. They have been beautiful on the outside, I won't deny that fact cause it would be pointless, but man have they been ugly on the inside. From the way they unceremoniously dumped me either by texting me that its over or me having to hear that they had moved on to another relationship from the magazines and gossip TV shows instead of hearing it from my supoosed girlfriend, they weren't the women I needed in my life but they did make a good contribution to my list of "My Dream Women's Qualities" so I guess it wasn't all bad.

I never believed in "Love at First Sight" like all romance novels write about that all the female readers go gaga and dreamy-eyed dreaming of the day when their very own Prince Charming will come into their lives, sweep them off their feet and love them as deep and truthfully like the heroes in the stories where the hero and heroine live happily ever after madly in love. It's like every women's dream to have that happen in their lives, it seems to be the only reason they read romance novels besides the obviously intriguing plotlines.

Like I said before, I never used to believe in love at first sight, that is until I met my dream girl and best friend of the last wonderful 4 years, Demi Lovato. I'm totally serious about the whole "love at first sight" thing, It took one look into those pools of melted milk chocolate that you could just drown in if you had the privilage of having the time to gaze deep into them and when you look into Demi's beautiful eyes you can see deep into every corner of her soul to see what deep dark secrets she has been hiding from even the people she deemed worthy of being in her life as the people she loves and cares for deeply.

Plus looking into her eyes, you can see every emotion she has for every moment life brings her so you can pretty much tell how Demi is feeling by looking into her eyes which is always nice for any guy cause then if he by chance angered the women of his dreams he can work his tail off to get back on her good side cause no guy likes being on his dream girls' bad side cause that can only cause turmoil in both of their lives.

I met Demi at the 1st table reading of "SWAC" and it was love at first sight, I can't tell if it was her gorgeous, million watt smile that melts your heart, her laughter that rings out like bells and makes you want to do anything in order to hear that laughter again, even if it's only a giggle,or her sweet,adorablness that makes you want to go aww at whenever she says or does, caring, genuine, down to earth, hilarious personality that made me melt into the floor a little, forget what I was suppose to say and make my brain stop sending signals to my mouth to say something smart or at least cool and my hand to take back my hand from where it laid in the small, delicate, fragile, ivory hand of an angel.

So when I first met Demi, I was the biggest dork that I knew by my mouth hanging wide open complete with drool running down the side of my mouth, eyes bugged, and nothing comprehensive coming out, I'm surprised that Demi didn't look at me like I had a few screws loose though it's not in her good nature to be rude or crude to anyone whether they are the biggest dorks or losers, she will just smile her most serene and gentle smile at them and talk to them in her gentle.patient, understanding, sweet voice that makes you feel like a million bucks or the most important person in the world.

It didn't take long for me to fall even deeper in love with Demi as our friendship got deeper and more intricate. I would go for walks around the set in order to find Demi and hopefully presuade her to spend time with me, cause if she did then my life will become so much sunnier (hahaha I made a pun) and funnier. Even if it's hanging out at lunch with our friends with everyone talking at once, as long as I'm sitting in the presence of my angel,am staring into her beautiful chocolate eyes, listening to her angelic, melodic voice as it floats over the crowds and the bustle of said crowd and breathing in the very essence that makes Demi my Dem Demi, if I'm with Demi, I'm happy.

Our loving friends have said that I'm not exactly subtle when it comes to my true feelings for Demi, I mean I have seen every movie she's in even when I with my friends who tease me mercilessly that I'm watching a baby movie because of a chick, note a hot chick, but still a chick even though I shrug off their teasing, cause all I focus on is Demi and all she says and does on screen. Demi's music is on repeat on my MP3 player, I have to listen to her songs everyday and when its on, the rest of the world melts away until I feel each lyric and melody in my heart and soul so that I feel it in my bones. Pretty much whenever I see Demi, either on screen or in person my heart races out of my chest, my palms become lakes, my tongue becomes a tangled mess and my brain and the rest of my body seem to stop communicating so that I'm forever seen around my angel as a stumbling, bumbling and dorky young man who can't say one complete sentence without stumbling over my words and my feet.

I won't say that I wasn't totally bummed,stressed, worried and emotional sick when Demi dated those jerks, manipulative,vain, womanizer "little boys"", they aren't deserving to be called men because even though they were men in age, they weren't in their maturity and emotional standing, real men would make their own descions and not let other people decide what they should do and say like when they were children and wouldn't hurt or use someone as talented and sweet as Demi to boost their dying or obsolute talent or career instead of just working hard to boost their own fame.

I hated opening magazine covers and see my sweetie with other men being all affectionate with them and know in my heart that the only right men for her was me, I was her soulmate and she was mine ( I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on her as something in my heart told me "This is the woman you are gonna marry"") I would treat her not only as a Princess but as a human being with real feelings and her own thoughts and opinions that need to be listenned to, taken into consideration and followed as much as my own. I'm the type of guy who isn't afraid to show the girl in his life how special she is to me and how much I love,adore and worship her whether in public or privately, as long as the women knows the extent of my feelings, I'm happy.

I was so happy when the producers of "Sonny with a Chance" decided that after a year and a half of "Sonny" and "Chad" flirting-bantering all the time with Chad having moments where he says or does sweet things for his lady that makes her think "Hmm maybe this arrogant jerkward isn't as bad as I thought. he actually can be thoughtful and sweet", he made it so that Demi and mine characters started dating. I have never been so happy, I actually jumped up and down, screaming like a banshee, and hugged the producer, director at the studio and my mom and sister at home like an idiot but I am in an idiot in love when I was told of the amazing news.

I adored being able to hold the women of my dream's hand, her soft, delicate, silky little hand that sent shivers down my spine everytime we touched even for a second, hold her small, delicate yet strong, lithe, soft body in my arms that also makes me melt into the floor and makes me feel like I'm holding heaven in my arms whenever I'm holding Demi in my arms, even if it's only a brief hug, and of course I can't forget how I feel when Demi's soft, supple, plumb lips that just beg to be kissed and carassed by someone plus I swear they have a tractor beam that pulls unspecting victims to feel a piece of heaven by kissing those lips and I have a strong feeling that I will be the only one who has the privilage and honor to kiss Demi in the years to come.

I still can't believe that I got to do all the actions I described above on the show, though I'm hoping that when Demi and I do get together, God willing, Demi and I don't go through the horrible, heart-wrentching break-up like "Sonny" and "Chad" even though "Chad" should have seen the break-up coming after he wasn't happy that his lady got the recognition she and her castmates obviously got and that he wasn't the "main star" anymore and got a re-call but his efforts lost him the women who could have been his soulmate. I hope that I never do anything that bad or terrible that will lose me my very own soulmate, if I lost Demi, I would become a blubbering,mess, shell of myself where I wouldn't talk to anyone but stay in my room in a ball and alternate between crying, yelling at myself for being so idiotic to do something that I made me lose my one true love and praying that this is a dream and that when I wake up I will still have Demi in my life.

One of my favorite nicknames for her is angel and it's true cause I feel she is an angel who came to Earth to teach people who feel like they are superior to everyone else because either of the talents they have or think they have, how prominent in the community their family are or they were just raised with the entitlement of getting everything they want from others, that everyone is made equal and even though some people have more opportunities to get ahead in life because they have a more outgoing, personable personality then others and works hard to get their dreams fulfilled, that doesn't give them the right to badmouth or talk down to other people.

I feel Demi was born to make the world a safer place for people who are considered "different" even though that is what made the world special and fun, the fact that millions of people from different ethics group, financial backgrounds,sexual orientations and some people who have ranges of disabilities intermingling in one planet. She was in this world to try to stop people from hurting, either physically, mentally or emotionally others and to learn how to live civil with everyone they met, no matter if they like the other person or not.

Another life lesson that Demi was born to teach the world that no matter what terrible situations or descions a person makes in their lives, it may seem like a travesty at the time like the world will end and their lives are destroyed and it might take awhile but overall things will go from gloomy to sunny side up once again. She teaches people that no matter what happens, everyone has some sort of support system in their lives consisting of family, close friends and other professionals in the community who will support and love them as they journey to reclaim their life after learning the lesson that their descions weren't in their own best interest and they need to make better choices.

I still can't believe that my sweet angel was bullied in elementary school so badly that she started to doubt her worth and value to the world and would come home crying that no one in that school liked her, I knew that children can be cruel if their parents didn't teach them to treat others the way themselves would want to be treated but doing a petition saying how many people didn't like my sweetie, calling her mom to say that they wouldn't care if Demi died, (hey there are some people who do care if Demi dies cause we love her very much plus the world would be missing an angel) and doing all other mean stuff that I won't trouble you with cause I don't like to bring up unpleasant memories, just because my sweetie wasn't exactly a stick thin little girl.

I have seen many episodes of "Barney and Friends" cause I heard Demi telling Tiffany that she pretended "Pauley" was "Barney" and how she would react to meeting him as a little girl in the episode where "Sonny" meet "Pauley" so of course if it has something to do with my sweetie then I have to watch it. Anyway I have seen little Demi and man if I met her as a child I think I would have gotten over my idea that girls had cooties and totally would have had a major crush on her cause she was so darn adorable and just screamed "I'm huggable so please put your arms around me and squeeze" and I'm so glad that her gorgeous smile didn't change too much, just a gap filling dental surgury to get rid of the gap between her two front teeth that I thought gave her character.

I know that Mrs and Mr Lovato tried their hardest to raise a strong-willed, caring, loving independant women but only Demi knew what was in her heart; that because of what her mean, immature and manipulative classmates about not liking her because of her weight, she stopped eating the three main meals and started working out excessively, sweetheart you must have known in your heart of hearts that what you were doing was unhealthy to your body. I always thought that you were one of the most beautiful woman I know, both inside and out; I think you have the right amount of "fat" or curves on your body that makes you look healthy and fit and be a wonderful roke model for young girls who aren't liking what puberty is doing to their bodies.

When Demi finally came out that she had emotional and physcial problems that she had to deal with, all her friends and family were shocked that we had never seen the warning signs that Demi was hiding such a big thing from the people she should have known she could trust, the people who always will love her and support her no matter what she says or does, we would have helped her earlier to achieve the inner peace and serenity 3 months in a treatment centre complete with lots of hugs, kisses, love and support that she got from her family, close and true friends and of course her loyal and true fans got her.

And we couldn't be any more proud of her achievements and her success of getting back the life she deserves and wants, my heart swells evertime I read her loyal and true fans' supportive and loving tweets about how much they adore, love and treasure Demi and all her works with Pacer, so that no child has to go through the pain, humliation and degraduation of being bullied on their self esteem, and her work with "Seventeen" magazine, the only girlie magazine I will ever buy cause it has my sweetheart's pearls of wisdom that only someone either older then Demi's age or someone who has been through a lot of things in her life and has immense experience and knowledge that she wants to share with everyone who will listen.

Ok so I'm starting to get depressed; I'm writing this journal entry in hopes that I can express my undying love for my girlfriend, the women of my dreams, my soulmate and as said before, the women I have dreamed about meeting and marrying ever since I could remember. Which brings me to the other main reason I'm writing this journal entry; tonight I'm taking a huge step I am going to ask Demi if she wants to go on a date with me; today I'm going to gather up all my courage and manhood and finally after 4 long years of my loving family and friends bugging me that I'm obvious in how I feel for Demi and could I please ask her out already so they don't have to listen to me gushing about Demi's many wonderful qualities, how much I wish she loves me as much as I love her and how I wish she was mine almost all day. They love me but hearing me go on and on about Demi all the time is egging on their last nerve.

I'm nervous yet excited; I know this is a huge step but I think I'm ready for this new step in fulfilling my dreams of winning the heart of my future wife and the women of my dreams; I know that Demi said that one of her dreams is to be a wife and mother but she's still too young for marriage even if she's at the legal age to marry but she needs to live life the way she wants and follow her own dreams before she will ever be ready to settle down because I want her to be just as assured and 100% certain about this life-long descion about marrying me as I know that I am; if Demi says "marry me" tommarrow I will not hesitate to say yes even if our parents disown us and force us apart, as long as it's Demi and me spending our lives together for eternity, I'm happy.

I have it all planned out; I will go to Demi's house dressed up in my causual clothes or a dress shirt with nice slacks and a small bouquet of tea roses and when she answers the door with her gorgeous smile, I will look her deep into her beautiful, chocolate eyes and try not to stutter, mumble, or trip over my own words as I ask her to come to my place for a home cooked meal complete with dancing to my CD collection of oldies (70's and 60's), pop (everything from Micheal Jackson to the Black Eyed Peas) and of course love songs cause a guy needs to have some time when he cuddles his sweetie close to him, breathing in her wonderful scent and presence while we slowly spin around letting the music touch our hearts and drown out the world so all we can hear is each other's hearts beating as one and our breathing synchronizing.

Along with not stuttering or tripping over my own feet, I will have to squelch the urge to do a happy dance,( dancing like a maniac, cheering really loudly, raise my arms in victory, shake my booty, skip across the room) when Demi says "yes" which of course she will cause every girl likes going on a romantic date with someone who is their dream guy, or at least I hope and pray that I'm the man of Demi's dreams cause then it will make our relationship even stronger and better then it already is.

I had every inch of Demi and mine's date planned out, every detail from my complete outfit, what food I'm going to serve, the order of the music I will play for Demi and I to dance to, how dark the room should be to what flowers I will put on the table and give to Demi to keep.Now to write down exactly what I want to say in order to ask Demi out and then practice it so that it is grained into my subconscious, like my lines from "So Random", so that I'm saying it in my sleep and have no problem remembering every line as I go to the main even, the actual asking Demi out even if I start getting tongue tied around Demi.

I'm so freaking happy and excited to reach the next goal of showing Demi how much I love, adore and worship her and how we are perfect for each other; I can't wait for our date and it hasn't even been confirmed by my women yet cause I'm pretty sure that I have to ask Demi first before going on with the rest of my plan of the "Perfect Date" for my special angel. I feel like singing and it just turned out that mom and dad were watching 2007 classic "Hairspray" and the perfect song came on; "It Takes Two" which is a slow, jazzy ballad of a guy singing out his love to his sweetie which seemed to fit perfectly into how I was feeling.



"They say it's a man's world
Well, that cannot be denied
But what good's a man's world
Without a woman by his side
And so i will wait
Until that moment you decide"

Ok so I guess you can say that man " run" the world but only if you live in the 1940's where it seemed that all women were homemakers, taking care of the house and the children, not that there is nothing wrong with that, it's up to what the individuals think is best for themselves and their families's needs. I mean I have read that some men even take on the housework and the children as their wife is the breadwinner and I applaud them for their hardwork and not caring that others might think they aren't "manly". I know from my grandma, who had raised 5 children on my grandpa's salary of a plant worker which wasn't a lot of money but my mom, aunts and uncles had everything they needed to live on, raising a family and a household is a full time job, 24\7 that doesn't give you any vacation or breaks so I have new respect for all parents with children and a household cause I don't know how they do it.

Now both man and women work together to make the world unisex, there is no more "woman" and "man" only jobs, the world has woman doctors and men daycare providers and the people involved don't seem to have any problem with working side by side with the opposite sex, to them all the workers, no matter what gender, are their co-workers and they are working towards a common goal.

But like the song says, what good is building a better tommarrow for the next generations when you don't have someone to share the good and bad times that life brings? I want a woman, ok Demi if you want to be specific, in my life as my wife that I know in my deepest heart will stand by my side through good and hard times, like our arguements cause I know that even people who are madly in love still have disagreements cause if everybody in a relationship had the same opinions then the relationship would be super dull and probably won't last long, cause I know that our love is strong enough to last through anything, good or bad, that life brings us.

I want to be able to experience life's successes and disappointments with Demi, like either one of us gets an award for our immense talent like a Grammy so that we can sit in the audience and cheer our heads off for our love as they go onto stage to accept the award and then smother them with kisses and congradulations as we gush about how proud we are of our loves' accomplishments. Or even better, experience our wedding, sharing our love to the world by making a life-long committment to each other, the births of our children (hey I love kids and want them with my wife to love, cherish and raise to be the best people they can).

I want a women who will be a supportive shoulder and listening ear, just like I will be to her, when we are feeling down, like I feel that my career is at a standstill or Demi's talent is not being appreciated by others except for her loyal and devoted fans of course, or Demi is getting hate on the net or through mail cause since she has been in Hollywood she has had people openly express that they don't like her because of her gorgeous personality and her immense talent and even though most of the time Demi doesn't care what people say about her cause she knows that her true fans will support her and stand up for her against all hate but sometimes Demi has a weak moment just like everyone does at one point in their live and starts to believe the lies being said about her so I need to lovingly knock some sense into her and rebuild her confidence until she believes in herself again and I see that beautiful smile back on her face.

I also want a woman who I can bounce ideas off of and run suggestions by about all descions in our life, both major and minor, cause every descion affects her and our relationship and I want her to know that her opinion counts and that I want to hear what she has to say, whether it be good or bad, cause I like the idea of having a wife that says her mind and expresses her uptmost opinion. All in all I want my wife to not only be my soulmate and wife but also my best friend that I can still laugh with, talk to and have fun with just like when we were "just friends". I will wait until Demi decides that she wants to be that special woman in my life cause I can wait to be that special guy in her life.



"That i'm your man
And you're my girl
That i'm the sea
And you're the pearl
It takes two, baby,
It takes two"

I may be a huge movie star in the young adults category but I feel like I will be half the man I am now if I didn't have someone like Demi in my life. Demi makes me want to be the best man I can be, a sweet, caring towards everyone especially the individuals who are less fortunate then I am and to help them better their own life even if it's only by a margin, sensitive to everyone around him needs, make my family and friends a top priority in my life, not that they aren't already a top priority and a man that isn't afraid to be affectionate and loving towards the special woman in their lives and their family no matter if they are teased mercilessly about being a "wimp". She is my backbone, the jam to my peanut butter, the ying to my yang, my reason for getting up in the morning and trying my hardest during the day and she 's the pearl to my sea. When we are together, I feel like I can climb the highest mountain, can battle a grizzley bear, I feel like I can pretty much do anything I want and even if I don't succeed I know that in my Dem Dem's eyes, I'm her hero and the bravest guy ever lived and that makes me want to puff out my chest, my heart swell and my face break out in a million dollar smile all day.


"A king ain't a king
Without the pow'r behind the throne
A prince is a pauper. Babe,
Without a chick to call his own
So please, darling, choose me
I don't wanna rule alone
Tell me,"

I'm your king
And you're my queen
That no one else
Can come between
It takes two, baby,
It takes two "

It might not desperate but I enjoy having someone special in my life; the rush of emotions everytime the woman I am interested in is in my sight, wanting to do everything in my power within reason, cause I know that if I have to change myself to be someone I'm not then the girl isn't worth my love and time, to show them how I truly feel about them. Having a special someone in my life makes me feel warm inside like I have a furnace inside me and makes me feel taller then I am cause I have someone in my life that loves me for who I am.

This might sound selfish but I believe I'm the King of my own world, which makes sense cause I have always been told that I'm in charge of my own destiny and future by my parents so in a way I'm a King. And if I'm the King of my own world then Demi is most defiently my Queen, hmm Queen Demitria or even better Queen Demi. King Sterling and Queen Demi of a Kingdom Far Away where we will rule a Kingdom together equally with kindness and caring towards our subjects so that the people living in our Kingdom support, love and honor us because we don't lord over them,we are royals that actually respect their subjects and want to do everything in their power to make the lives of the people around them better and more fulfiled; to do something more important in their lives then just be eye candy.

All Demi has to do is just say that I'm her only man in her life just like she's the #1 girl in my lfe and we can start our own happily ever after that any woman would dream of cause I will try my hardest to be the Prince Charming that a woman like Demi deserves in her life. And once we are together as boyfriend and girlfriend, there ain't nobody that could tear us apart like the media with their totally untrue, made-up, twisted of the truth, rumor filled stories in order to damage Demi and mine's repuation as people and professionals that are destined to have our "fans" second guess Demi and me and have them stray away from being our loyal fans.

My friends and fans don't really understand why I'm still friends let alone am in love with (they say I'm obvious in how I feel for Demi; all someone has to do is look into my eyes and see my lovesick gaze directed at Demi and know that I'm head over heels in love with the "chick"") someone who has a "cooko-locco" breakdown over the smallest pieces of stress so I could be in serious danger if I hung around this kook and they feel Demi isn't worth my attention and time, um no it's Demi that isn't worthy of my love and attention; she's a goddess while I'm a unimportant mortals veying for her love. Plus they feel that Demi is using her disorder to make people feel sorry for her so they think that I should just lose her and her baggage and go out with the girls they feel are more "suitable" for me. Um no.

First of all, I did research on "bi-polar disorder" when Demi was first diagnosed so that I understood every inch of the disorder that had been plaguing my sweet angel all these years without anyone's knowledge; I want to know if there was anyway of being able to help Demi cope with day-to-day activities so that Demi could go on to live a normal, healthy and as much stress-free life as she could. Demi isn't a kook, she's a normal, young women dealing with a normal disorder that thousands of people have and live a normal life with only the people close to them knowing the pain they go through everyday.

Not only is Demi my one true love, she's also one of my best friend and there's no way that I'm in danger of getting hurt, other then Demi breaking my heart by not loving me as much as I love her and in the same way as me, by hanging out with her and plus best friends stick together through thick and thin and support and love that person no matter what they say and do so that is what I'm going to do with Demi until the end of time.

Lastly there's no way that Demi is at all using her disorder to benefit her own image and self, she had no idea that she had a disorder and since she found out about that she had the disorder she has been nothing but straighforward, the only reasons she has come forward with this personal demons of hers is so she can show her loyal fans that it's ok to have personal demons from horrible or tramatic experiences in their lives that they wish they could forget; the end result should be that they have to deal with those struggles that will only strengthen them to be stronger people and to let them know that no one is alone. Everybody has a strong support sysyem made up of family memebers, friends and trusted professionals in the society that individuals should tap into for the love and support that they need to deal with their problems and feel like a vlaued member of society and that they are in charge of their own lives.

People can say whatever they want about Demi, good or bad although I much prefer people gushing over my angel's many wonderful qualities that has made me fall madly,head over heels in love with her in the first place and why all of her fans love, adore and admire her for her works of charity and personality of humbleness, genuineness, love, wanting to use her own talents and gifts to make someone else, someone she might never met face to face, lives' better by letting them know that they are never alone in their own troubles or life's trials, they always have people to have their backs.

I don't care what people think of my love for Demi, my friends love to tease me that I'm such a sap and Demi's lapdog all she has to do is say" jump" and I ask "How high?", I know in my heart of hearts that what I feel for Demi is the true love that only happens once in a lifetime and what is read about in fairy tales coming true and plus I know that the people who are the most important to me, my family, love Demi almmost as much as me. My parents treat Demi like a daughter, my siblings think of her as a sister and my mom is always telling that true love doesn't wait for anybody and that it could leave my life anyday and I don't want to regret not taking the chance at real love for the rest of my life so could I please just tell Demi how much I love her before I lose her forever.

"Don't you know
Lancelot had guinevere
Mrs. Claus has old st. Nick
Romeo had Juliet
And liz, well, she has her dick"

Hopefully Demi and I go down into history of being one of the most unforgettable couples in history; the couple that all the young couples look up to as a reference of what true love and what a long, fulfilling, loving, true marriage looks like so that they can base their own relationships on being just as true and long lasting as Demi and mine's marriage that I hope one day will happen.

I want my marriage to Demi to be just like my parent's marriage; mom and dad have been married for 25 years and are still as much in love as when they were newelyweds starting out on their joined lives together as husband and wife. My parents' marriage is based on trust, committment, true love, companionship,shared interests and doing pretty much everything together from the housework to raising us kids, everything was shared 50\50.

"They say it takes two to tango
Well, that tango's child's play
So take me to the dance floor
And we'll twist the night away"

I adore and love dancing with Demi, whether it be fast or slow although I can't really dance fast, I pretty much move my arms in circles and move my hips in an ackward rythym that usually has nothing to do with the music that is playing. My feet don't even move they are glued to the floor cause I have no idea what to do with my body that doesn't make me look incredibly stupid and lame.

I love slow dancing with Demi, her small delicate hands around my neck so that she has to look deep into my eyes cause believe me I'm always looking for ways for me to be able to look deep into Demi's eyes just like I jumped on every chance I could get to kiss Demi, Demi and I actually practiced our kissing scene about 10,000 times cause it didn't seem to ever go perfect (ok so if you want to be technical, I pretended to screw up either leanned in too much or cut the kiss shorter then it must be, which is hard to do cause when mine and Demi's lips touched it was like the world stopped spinning and all I could hear was music playing in my ears, just so I could continue to kiss Demi in order to get the scene right :). I love when Demi and I slow danced I got to hold her small, delicate and fragile body in my arms and just move in tine with the tune our hearts were beating, together to the same rythym and leave the world behind just so that it's only Demi and me in our own love daze. I could slow dance with Demi for an entire night and never get bored; I enjoy anytime I can get with my girl, whether it was only a few moments or hours and whatever time I can get with Demi is filled into my "Demi" folder in my long term memory.

"Just like frankie avalon
Had his favorite mouseketeer
I dream of a lover, babe,
To say the things 1 long to hear
So come closer baby,
Oh and whisper in my ear "

Ok so this is gonna sound like something a girl would say or what would be written in a romance novel but somtimes I dream about holding Demi in my arms as we snuggle in each other's arms on our couch while we are either watching TV, read our seperate books, going over our scripts or just enjoying some much needed quality, quiet time alone without having to rush around to our different studios, mine the "So Radom" set ,which isn't the same without our "Sonny", all our friends dearly miss her on set each and every day and Demi to the music studio to keep working on her newest CD which I know will be filled to the brim with more personal songs that capture what trials and victories she has won over the past year and her feelings about what she has gone through that I already know will capture whoever hears her CD's hearts and touch their souls until they tear up when they hear it.

I can't wait to be able to hold Demi close to me and whisper sweet nothings, endearments and romantic and sweet sayings that hopefully will express the true depth of how much I love, cherish and adore her so that she is the only one who can hear what I'm saying; like a secret shared between just us that no one else can hear unless we let them and I don't think we will cause a couple needs to have some secrets that is just between us.

"Tell me you're my girl
And i'm your boy
That you're my pride
And i'm your joy
That i'm the sand
And you're the tide
and I'll be the groom
If you'll be my bride
It takes two, baby,
It takes two

It takes two, baby
It takes two..."

With holding the last note as long as I could, the song ended with me having a giant smile on my face. I could hear mom clapping and cheering as loud as she could from the kitchen; my mom must have heard my loud but hopefully soulful singing of this love song from my room and liked it. Hmm that gives me a new idea on how to ask Demi out, serenade her cause I know that music is Demi's life so why not. Now it's time to have a shower and get handsome for my girl. So wish me luck journal on getting the woman of my dreams. :)

Big Baby Meets Reality

Ok so I knew that some people, unfortunately, are manipulative, mean, vindictive, selfish and have the mind set of "I'm entitled to lots of praise and attention cause I'm famous" but what happened tonight takes the cake on how people's personality makes me wonder what was happening with humankind.

I was super excited for May 16 cause it was a special night; Sterling and I were both in the animated movie called "Sleeping Ugly" and for the premiere we were bringing along our own little princesses Kayleigh and Sonny. The movie was another version of "Sleeping Beauty" but this time the main character may "not physically appealing" to others but she had a kind heart, good, sweet nature, a lover of people and animals, even if the person isn't kind or nice back to her, which makes her "beautiful" to the Prince who stumbles upon her fast asleep under a spell along with a witch and a beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside princess. It ends with the "Plain Jane" lady marries the Prince and they love happily ever after.

I know that Sterling and mine's fans were surprised that both of us had gone back to doing family\kids movies after leaving "Sonny with a Chance" years ago but watching the old episodes with the girls made us remember how fun it was doing comedies, making the audience burst a gut with laughter and making people smile. Although Sterling and I had done other comedy movies and TV shows as well as drama shows and movies, which don't get me wrong was fun, I enjoyed working with my co-stars very much and had made many new friends and it really excerised my acting chops, I learned how to cry on cue and to research my characters' problems, such as playing a women who found out that her newlywed husband has two mistresses on the side, one who was pregnant with his child and the other one having two of his children already ( I know that will never happen in real life cause I know in my heart of heart that Sterling and I have a strong marriage based on trust, true love, communcation and a strong foundation of being best friends before becoming husband and wife).

This way I become my characters, know what they would be feeling in certain situations and how they would react to the drama in their lives so I can react appropriately and so the audience feels like it's really me going through the drama and from my acting they are pulled into the storyline so that they will come back each week to watch what happens next. I do like doing dramas (life isn't always a fun thing filled with laughter and fun times) but from what my friends, family and fans, i'm better in comedies. My friends say that I have a knack for making others laugh whether I make funny faces or make quirps that is guaranteed to make someone laugh so I should do more comedies.

When my agent showed me the script I read it and soon became hooked to the story, it teaches children that beauty is only skin deep and in the eye of the beholder. If you are "beautiful" inside with a wonderful personality (sweet, kind, caring and nice to everyone they met and are genuine and down to earth) then it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside cause there will always be someone who can look beyond the surface and fall in love with you because of it. As a mother I knew that I did this project to make a good example for my daughters plus as I said before, the story drew me in.

I loved the project even more once I found out that my very own Prince Charming was going to play the Prince in the story and my very own love interest in the movie. Hmm the producer made a good choice casting Sterling as my love interest cause he is defiently my own Prince Charming who i know loves every inch of me, he actually researched "bi-polar disorder" when I was first diagnosed so that he could possibly understand what I was going through and so he could find ways that he could help me live a normal, healthy life and not have so many maniac episodes, how sweet is he for doing that cause to me that is one of the sweetest things he has ever done for me and he has done a lot of sweet, caring and romantic things for me during the time we were dating and during our marriage.

Even though I know from what people have told me and from looking in the mirror, I'm not vain but even I can see that I'm not exactly hideous, I think I'm pretty attractive,Sterling not only tells me that I'm beautiful on the outside but also how I am a one of a kind, down to earth, sweet, genuine, kind, caring gorgeous on the inside young women he could ever met and have the privilage of falling in love with.

He is always telling me that God made me extra special, an angel on Earth to show people that being yourself 100% of the time, never letting go of your dreams and never letting anyone tell you what you can and can't do, and that God made me just for him to be his soulmate and the women of his dreams. How sweet is he for saying that? Just what a women wants to hear; that her husband thinks she's a gift from God and an angel on Earth to boost her self-esteem and feel loved.

Memories of working side by side with Sterling and how much fun we had shooting our scenes, learning our lines, being all lovey-dovey, flirting and being all in love (both in real life and on screen) during the 2 seasons of SWAC came back to me though I will never forget the wonderful memories of filming and hanging out backstage and in front of the camera Sterling and I had with our best friends\co-stars\honary family members for as long as I live, those memories have been grained into my brain where i keep all the memories that Sterling and I have built up from being together, as best friends, girlfriend-boyfriend,husband and wife and mommy and daddy over the years as well as memories of rasing two inquistive, funny, adventurous, sweeties of little girls.

I throughly enjoyed working on the "Sleeping Ugly" movie, the other actors were nice and we all had a few laughs but man was Sterling and I really tired at the end of the day, even more then when we had to be on set for 6 am and stay there for about 8 hours before coming home and having two little rambuncious, eager to play with mommy and daddy, little girls who practically pull our arms out of our sockets eager to play with mommy and daddy since they had been busy all day and hadn't had the chance to play with their two little angels all day and plus Sonny and Kayleigh are on the edge of their seats bursting to tell Sterling and me about their many adventures and new experiences at Preschool and Junior Kindergarten for that day.

Then there was the matter of having some kind of food before it was the girls' bed-time routine of baths, getting them dressed for bed (Sonny more then Kayleigh), teeth brushed (again Sonny needs more help then her sister cause Sonny likes to flick toohpaste onto the mirror as she brushes and doesn't quite have the skill to reach every inch of her teeth, she pretty much just puts the brush inside her mouth and goes from side to side once then she's "done"), storytime is next which usually is either a fairtytale or a "mommy-daddy-tale", mostly stories of Sterling and I when we were either dating or being " all goofy" about how much in love we were with each other, according to Kayleigh. Then after lots of hugs, kisses and having to go into Kayleigh's room to remind Sonny that she wasn't sleeping in her sister's bed tonight, no matter how much she wanted to and to shoo her into her own bed, Sterling and I would climb into our bed, too tired most nights to even have our nightly talks about what's new in our lives and talk about any struggles we had to talk about to see if the other person could come up with suggestons on how to fix it. So we would end up just snuggling down after a goodnight kiss, cause I found since marrying Sterling i have a hard time getting to sleep without one of his loving, sweet, soft like a cloud goodnight kisses.

Kayleigh and Sonny enjoyed going on set with Sterling and me on our TV shows, I know that it wasn't exactly the funniest place to be when you're 3 & 4 years old and none of the other actors didn't have children and had no idea how to act around children, my co-stars had confided in me that they feel uncomfortable being around Kayleigh and Sonny so could I maybe find other arrangements for them during the day and if I couldn't find any other arrangements then Kay and Sonny could come on set but they had to stay in my dressingroom with lots of toys and movies to keep them company. It would be better for everyone, the girls wouldn't be in the way and the cast wouldn't be tripping over them and the girls would have fun besides sititng in my director's chair bored out of their minds.

But going to a set for a movie that is designed for children was a lot funnnier for both of the girls, the cast was more laid-back, child-likeable or at least with cast that is linked into their inner child, and would actually play with the girls in between voice taping whether it was rough-housing with Sonny and playing dress-up with Kayleigh, them dressing up with their costumes and Kay with her bestest "Princessy" clothing.

Kayleigh and Sonny were actually asked to watch some scenes and asked to rate from a scale of 1-10 how good they thought they were and their comments were taken into consideration for the final cut. It made the girls feel "grown-up" that adults were asking their opinions and not treating them like "stupid" kids that shouldn't be seen or heard.

Kayleigh and Sonny are just like other children; they love to spend anytime they can with Sterling and I, no matter if it's only a couple of minutes (you know a kiss and a hug and then bye kind of thing). They actually wake us up by jumping on our beds and exclaiming that it was time to play and they actually hang onto our legs, sitting on our feet so that we carry them around the house while we are getting ready just so we don't forget that they want us to play with them, don't worry sweeties daddy and I will never forget to spend time with our two special angels.

We love hanging out with our babies, it makes our busy and sometimes stressful days complete and it brings joy and laughter to both Sterling and mine's days. Sometimes I have to promise myself that i will spend more time with Kay and Sonny the next day cause that day I barely had time to kiss the girls goodnight before it was time for them to go to bed or had missed their sleepy-time routine so that both girls were fast asleep in dreamland before I get home from the set before I can fall asleep.

When the movie had left production and was going into theatres I was very proud to say that this was one of the best projects I have done, it was entertaining to children and it taught then a life lesson of "Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover" with no violence and swear words which of course all parents enjoy as it's a movie that the whole family can sit down and watch without having to worry about the movie being not inappropriate for children. I had a good feeling that the movie would be a great success with the families that watches it and I also know that Sterling feel the exact same way about "our" movie, 1) cause I know that he loves making a difference in our fans' lives and if he can influence someone to be the best person they can be then he's happy and 2)he loves making people laugh by being his silly, dorky self that I fell in love with.

The night of the premiere was kind of busy, not only did Sterling and I have to get ourselves dressed and beautified but the girls as well.Though Sterling doesn't need to do anything in order to be handsome, he is handsome even when he's in his pj pants and a ratty old t-shirt with his hair mused, can you tell I'm a women who is madly in love with her husband?. I also find him really attractive when he's playing the role he was born to play with ; a "loving, suburban daddy" and "loving supportive husband".

I love watching Sterling playing with Kayleigh and Sonny, either dressing up in Kay's dress clothes drinking pretend tea and cookies with Kay or having a pillow fight with both Sonny and Kayleigh who gang up on him with their frilly, pink pillows and he pretends that they have backed him into a corner so he is yelling for reinforcements aka me so that he will have a partner in crime in this playful fight.

Seeing Sterling with the girls makes me smile really huge, like from ear to ear, my heart feels lighter like it will burst from my chest any moment cause it's beating so fast and grows even bigger when I see the 3 people that I love with all my heart interacting cause Sterling and the girls are so adorable together, it's clear that Kay and Sonny love their daddy so much, they are most defiently daddy's girls as their little faces lighten up , their smiles grow from ear to ear with face spliting smiles and they throw themselves at him and cling to him when Sterling enters the room. I could stare at Sterling and the girls interacting all day long and never get tired of it.

After a nice long bubble bath with both girls sharing the bath complete with their bath toys of their Barbies being mermaids and exploring some underwater place with their trusting plastic squeezing whale and dolphin toys and of course the ever popular childish game of "Let's see how much water we can splash out onto the floor" which I stopped immediately cause I didn't feel like mopping up puddles of water on the bathroom floor. Unfortunatley as the little mermaids played in their ever so fun imagination, mommy mermaid had to wash their wavy light brown hair till it practically squeeked with cleaness and looked so soft that even the toughest person couldn't resist touching the girls' hair cause it looked so darn soft and begged to be touched then it was time to wash every inch of their ivory, delicate skin until it was so soft that when you held them all you could breathe in is the scent of baby Dove soap and their baby shampoo.

Then Sterling and I tag teamed by drying one of the girls, then helping them get into their pretty dresses, Kayleigh is a pale pink, polka dotted sleeveless sundress with pale pink Mary-Jane shoes and Sonny in a yellow,paisley sleeveless sundress with pale yellow ballerina flats. Sonny was a little hesitant to wear a dress cause she says that it made her look like a girl which Sterling gently told her that she was a girl so it didn't matter. Then it was time for some serious hair brushing, both girls' hair was a bit matted from toweling it dry and while Kay would sit down patiently and loved having her hair brushed and put into different styles not Sonny, touch her sculp and she jumps like we had hit a tangle and don't get me started if we actually hit a tangle, Sonny starts whinning that we are hurting her as she holds her head and starts to cry a little.

Sterling and I try our hardest to be gentle and get the tangles out through detangling sprays and holding the hair by the scalp so that the comb doesn't pull on the hair as we comb slowly down the hair shaft cause it brings tears to our eyes when we hear Sonny start to cry even though we know that we have to get the tanlges out so they don't get worse as the day\night goes on cause if the tangles get worse then there will be more tears. Sterling and I don't ever want to be the cause of one of our loved ones' tears cause their tears go straight to our heart and tears it piece by piece until we ourselves are close to tears.

After tears were dried up by hugs and kisses, the girls looked absolutely adorable in their outfits, it was time for Sterling and I to get ready. I had my very own fashion consultants aka the girls helping me to pick out my own outfit from the many dresses I have, there was no famous fashion designer that most people in my situation of going to a movie premiere would go to see so that they look like a million dollars in outfits that will have everyone drool over and want to spend a pretty penny to have, it was just the selection of the dresses i had in order to look like a million dollars.

The girls decided that mommy would be best if she dressed in a pale blue, not as pale as my sweeties' eyes but it was pretty darn close, striped sundress with a pale blue ribbon around my waist and sky blue sling back strapped sandels and hair lightly curled into waves dancing around my shoulders. The only jewelry I wore was my wedding rings, or course as they are my favorite piece of jewelry that I never take off except for sleeping, cooking and bathing of course, and a thin chain with my heart lock pendant on it that Sterling gave me to symbolize that I had the key to his heart just like he has the key to mine.

And from my husband's constant "huba-hubas" and wolf whistles after every outfit selection I think the girls did a wonderful job helping me find something to wear, my Sterling couldn't take his eyes off me though since we had gottten together he has always had a problem keeping his eyes off me just like I had a problem keeping mine off him. Knowing that when i'm in the room Sterling's focus never wavers from me even if the most beautiful woman are in the room veying for his attention, I will always be the only women he will focus on and think "Man is she gorgeous!" is good for my self esteem.

I have to say that Sterling looked mighty handsome in his baby blue dress shirt and midnight blue dress pants with his pale pink tie, he didn't even look "gay" in a pink tie, pink suited him. His hair done over in a messy do so that he looked like he had just woken up from his nightly cuddle time witn both girls. All in all I have to say that we made a wonderfullly beautiful family in our dress clothes, picture time before we go to the premiere even if Sonny and Kay groan over another one of mommy's million picture taking for one event that makes the girls have to stay in one pose for a long time, ok so for the record I don't make them stay still for that long, it just seems long cause they are kids who don't like to stay in one spot for very long but hey i love having pictures of important memories in my family's life cause I know that no matter how much Sterling and I want Kay and Sonny to stay this small, adorable, and innocent, it ain't happening and I want the girls to have pictures to remember their childhood memories with.

The ride to the event was filled with fun times, singing really loudly to a "Barney" CD complete with dancing in our seats with hand actions that probably made us look pretty silly to the other drivers but oh well, we are a family who isn't afriad to have fun and act silly in public, we were having fun and that's it. If I had known what awaited me at the awards show I would have waited for the movie to come out onto video to watch with my angels' in our PJs all comfy in our surroundings.

It started off with my name being called which I turned to see who was calling me cause I thought it was one of my co-stars, only to find Joe Jonas, one of my ex-boyfriends and even worse ex-best friend leering at me with some really slutty dressed women with a permanent sneer on her face. Um ew, does he not know that I'm a happily married women with children? What gives him the right to look at me like I'm a frigging ice cream cone he wants to devour? He lost that right, not that he ever had that right, when he dumped me for someone who obviously only wanted what his money and fame could bring her and dumped him soon after getting all that she wanted from him.

D: "Hi Joe. How are you? And what are you doing here? I never knew that you had kids. (I was trying to be nice and polite but i really didn't want to talk to him)

L: "Um Joey bear why is this horribly dressed, fat, short,no talent, ugly, mental person talking to you? Does she not know who you are? You are the hottest, coolest, most talented,famous guy in the world and this little girl isn't worthy of breathing the same air as you let alone talk to you. I have read about her, she actually had a mental breakdown so she went to the mental hospital until the doctors got sick of her so they released her and she has been making pathetic,childish CDs that only little girls' and boys' love listenning to cause their little pea brains can't handle listening to "real music".

(Um excuse me but your little "Joey bear" talked to me first so don't hate on me for starting the conversation. Secondly I didn't go to a mental hospital, I did have a breakdown but only because I have a disorder that a ,ot of people have that I had no idea I had before going to the treatment centre and it is completely controlled by handling my stress level and taking medications. Thirdly, your little girlfriend's description of you is pathetic, I can't believe that she thinks you're a God? What's the matter with her cause according to me you are just a normal guy who has minimum talent and my fans are not brainless, zombie children who don't know "real music" , they listen to my music cause they can hear that I put my heart and soul into each song cause I write my songs to inspire and touch my fans' heart and souls cause without them I wouldn't be as popular as I am. I would be nothing without them)

D: "Actually your boyfriend talked to me first and I'm gonna assume that by the leering and checking out that Joe is doing that he doesn't agree with your description of me being "ugly", "horribley dressed" and "fat". (I responded to Libby's not so subtle jabs with fake sweetness and restraining my urge to say not so nice things back at her but Sterling and I are trying to teach the girls to be civil to people they meet even if they don't like them so if I say what I wanted to what kind of example to my daughters would that be?)

J: "Um actually you are dreaming if you think I'm checking you out cause I was wondering why on earth would you go out in public with cameras in that horrible,ugly dress that looks like what a Kindergartener would wear and that frizzy, oily hair. Sweetie, did your "fame" finally die down after your immature, child-like fans grew a brain and found that the songs and the girl that they worshipped was just a little girl trying to play hard ball with the big boys aka me by writing songs that didn't have any sort of melody, rythym or a theme, it's pretty much you screeching and talking in your whinny voice that just begs to be listened to even if you have nothing interesting to say.

I tried to tell you that my brothers and I, who are wildly popular with all the girls because we not only have talent and charisma but are also drop dead gorogeous that any other guys are wildly jealous of us and want to be just like us and why not and all girls of any age fall over themselves to do our every wish and wants, why do you think I have had so many girls throw themselves at me? Cause they want some of the Jonas hunkcake and will do anything they can to get me to make them the ultimate prize; my girlfriend though one slip up like with you having some mental problems and having a mind of your own and not being a minldess zombie like my old girltoys, and it's bye bye.

I could only carry you so far before I gave up on a talentless, no personality, ugly little girl like you. I'm surprised that your little, pathetic show, I forget what it was even called it was so small and insignficant, survived 2 years on air, the fans must have been brainless to think that pile of doggy doo doo was funny. Unlike my two shows "Jonas" and "Jonas LA" which was wildly popular with the teens, they couldn't get enough of me, I don't blame them for thinking I was the most talented, handsome guys they have seen and mobbed me for inches of clothing or pieces of hair, every one wants a piece of me but there is only one Joe and baby he's a God. "

D: ( Must not laugh.Must not laugh although Joe is just as immature, snobby, vain, jerk he was when I was 18. I can't believe he actually thinks that he and his family "carried" me. I mean they might have helped me start my music carrer by Mr Jonas Sr being my manager but honey i hate to break it to you but my sheer determination, drive, spirit, sweat, tears, people who appreciate a young women who puts her heart and soul into every song she writes and every role she does and think of her as a role model for young people and God given talent is what made me popular, not you boys who think their God's gift to the world. I can't wait to read your career demise in the paper and believe me it will happen one day soon. But for now I'm going take the high road and be the adult in this situation. I'm no longer afriad to tell Mr Imature jerkward that his insults don't faze me anymore.)

"Actually my sweet, little daughters helped me pick this outfit out and my loving, supportive, trusting, down to earth, sweet, caring husband who loves me just the way I am and wouldn't change me for anything thought I looked very beautiful in this dress. I'm so glad that you guys are doing well though I still don't know what you guys are doing here. This is for families with children or at least people who like children and since you guys aren't in any of those categories, I wonder what you guys are doing here?" ( I looked at them pointedly to telepathetically say "get out of here, you're not wanted here")

J: "OMG you have brats and an actual husband. Poor Demi, she doesn't have game or feminine wiles to lead a group of men on to thinking that she "loves"" them and buy her expensive gifts so she sticks herself to the only man who will ever pay her any attention or affection and lies down with him to have snot nosed brats who are only good at making a person look good by not talking but just standing there like little dolls that you can dress up and mold into your own image.

I can't wait to met the guy who you ended up with, the 2nd best guy you will ever get cause obviously I'm the #1 choice of every women and all you had to do was be my willing slave to my every whim, demand and want and stop thinking with your own mind,living by the values and morals that your mommy and daddy taught your sisters and you as babies, to be one of my major playtoys but since you couldn't play by my Jonas games, it was bye bye to the curb. I bet he is as pathetic,weak, talentless and a loser as you are, two losers make one huge super dork. I bet your kids are butt ugly and losers like their mommy and daddy."

D: "Ok so you can call me a loser and a dork cause I stopped listening to and caring what you think of me a long time ago so whatever childish, pathetic insults you and your little "girltoy" come up with to pass the time of you wasting your life bullying others, bring it on. But don't you dare badmouth the people I love, I can't help it if I found a guy who isn't afraid of committment, expressing how he is feeling at all times whether it makes him seem "weak" or "pathetic", who isn't afraid to show emotions of love,devotion and admiration for someone other then themselves in the same amount of emotions whether we are alone or in public and someone who I know loves me for me cause they know that no one is "perfect" and doesn't try to change me into a cardboard version of their adolescent fantasies."

( Joe never got a chance to respond to my very well placed quirps about how wonderfully different Sterling is from him and that is why I love Sterling so much cuase my very own Knight in Shinning Armour, I never get tired of that joke though I think that Sterling is starting to tire of that joke and is fake laughs when someone tells it, came to my rescue.)

S: "Hey sweetheart. Everything ok? I was getting worried about you, I took the girls to their seats and when I didn't see you behind us I got worried. " (Sterling put his arm supporting and lovingly around my waist and looked pointedly at Joe and Libby daring them to say anything mean about me in front of him cause he may look sweet and innocent and half the time he is but mess with anyone he loves and he can sling quirps as well as the meanest bullies out there.)

( I could see Kay and Sonny looking at him like "Who the heck is this guy? Is he hurting our mommy cause if he is then he has to deal with us cause no one hurts our mommy" and alternating their gazes from their daddy,me, Joe and Libby trying to decide what was happening in their own private child-like world)

K: "Hi I'm Kayleigh Knight and this is my little sissy Sonny. Are you friends with my mommy? Hey you were in that movie with mommy, um Camp Rock. You are so lucky to have know my mommy cause she is the bestest mommy I know; she's nice, funny, sweet, really fun to play with, she gives great hugs and kisses and my sissy, daddy and me love when mommy sings to us cause her voice sounds like Ariel. " (Aww how sweet is my little girl saying all those things about me, i knew that she loves me but to say those things out loud to an adult makes my heart swell)

(I don't think that Joe liked hearing a little girl, my little girl, only recognized him from a movie that I was in and not for being him. So how does being overlooked as second best feel Joe? Get used to it dude cause I have a feeling that it will happen more and more as the years go on. He looked at both girls like they were tiny bugs beneath his feet.)

J: "Your mommy named you Sonny? What a stupid name! What idiot would name you after a weather report?!"

S: "That's not my real name dumb dumb, mommy and daddy named me "Allison" which is what they call me when I get in tuble which is never ( I love you honey but I know that you tend to get into trouble more then you think, it's your lovable michiviousness that guarantees that it's more then once a day) but my lovable personality made them call me "Sonny". And don't call my mommy and daddy idiots, they are not idiots, they are the bestest mommy and daddy I know. Plus calling someone an idiot is a mean thing to say to someone. Now apologize to mommy and daddy for calling them a mean name"

(This was of course was said with as much attitude as a 3 year old could have complete with little hands on her hips and a "I'm not playing with you" look on her little face. Sweetie I doubt that Joe will apologize for his rude and childish behaviour, sometimes I have a hard time remembering that he is suppose to be 3 years older then me by the words that come out of his mouth and the actions I have seen tonight, but mommy is proud of you for standing up for yourself, daddy and myself. That's my girl).

J: (rolls eyes at having be told off by a child) Whatever kid. Hey did you kids know that I used to date your mommy and she was all gooey, lovey dovey towards me just like she is with your daddy and that she was kissing me instead of your daddy who she "loves". But she was way to clingy and wanted me to return her affections whether we were in front of the cameras or in front of my friends and family and then she would pout if I pushed her away cause I obviously didn't love her back, I never even liked her more then someone who I did movies with."

( Gee thanks dude, tell my girls the ancient history of our failed relationship where I actually thought you had a sense of dignity and modesty like any other human being. Excuse me for not being afraid to show my emotions to someone whether we are alone or in front of people, I was told by my parents growing up not to be afraid to show my emotions or how much a person means to me even if I end up looking like a dork. I used to love you, or I thought I loved you but now I know it was just puppy love that disappeared as soon as I openned my heart fully to Sterling and realized with him I had found the true love I have wanted since I was a little girl. I'm so glad that I realized how much of a committment scared ,jerk, snob, selfish, vain and overall jackass you were before we got really serious so I could get on with my life and fall even more in love with Sterling then before and get on with our life together.

So thanks for showing me your true colors Joe so I can ditch any "dead weight" in my life and moved onto the life I not only dreamed about but am now living with a loving, supportive husband and two beautiful, healthy, sweeties of daughters, true, close like family friends and a career where I can be myself, act and write songs from my heart and have my talents be appreciated by loyal and true fans.)

( I don't think that Kayleigh and Sonny got the concept of mommy "dating" someone else and being all lovey dovey with anyone other then their daddy cause their faces were so confused with heads crocked and little noses wrinkled in confusion. I guess Sterling and I aren't exactly sutle or private about how much we are in love and adore each other, we have been told by other people, either our friends, family or even strangers that we still act like newelyweds all giggly, cutsey-wutsey, adolescently-lovey dovey that they can't believe we have been married 5 years and have 2 children.)

J: "Well I know what you have been up to these past few years of your pathetic life, you are on a TV show which is obviously blind and deaf to your "comedy" talent cause you aren't funny, you are actually pathetic when you are trying to be "funny", everything about your jokes and comedic skills are lame and I still can't believe that any of the fans of that show would find you funny, They must be retarded to think you're funny. You are still doing some stupid, lame and screechy songs that only a bunch of babies would like or even listen to cause all you do is whine that life isn't fair and that people should treat everyone who are losers, retarded or are inferior in every way the same way as the superior people like me who do everything in their power to squish the losers and make them feel like the insects that they are to this world.

I'm certain that you would like to know that my CDs can't stay for long on the shelves cause I'm just so popular with the ladies both for my music, my personality, looks and acting chops, whatever I do I am phenomal at and the ladies can't get enough of me or keep their hands off me. I even wrote to all the magazines to tell them that it would be in their best interests to do a cover story about me so that their pathetic little magazine will get more readers then they already do. I didn't even know that you had gotten hitched or had babies, but now I can totally see the fat dripping off you that you didn't get rid of from having your babies, what's the matter sweetie not at all caring that you let yourself go and are so not at all sexy. Oh well I guess that's what happens when your candle has gone out, you are stuck with doing insignficant roles while leaving the bigger roles for professionals like me"

S: ( Poor guy was trying to keep his temper in because Kay and Sonny were still in the room and he didn't want to taint their innocent ears with telling Joe what he really thought of him which he told me after Joe and me broke up cause no one hurts his girl and gets away with it.) "Ok look jerkward, from what you exaggerated about your life these past years it sounds like any other actors\musicians' life so you are totally not different from anyone else.

And how dare you insult my wife, she may have had some problems in the past but everyone has personal issues that they have to deal with, either physical, emotional or mental, and it takes a bigger person to admit they have issues and work towards working the issues out so that they aren't so big and difficult to handle but unfortunately you haven't obviously learned that life lesson cause you were taught that if someone has faults to treat them like dirt and cast them aside like yesterday's garbage. Demi has worked out her problems, starting with getting over the self-absorbed, vain, selfish, cold boyfriend she had, now who was that again? and is now on the path to the life she defiently deserves.

I'm sorry that you are in your own world that you don't see that people like my Demi have talents that reaches into people's hearts and souls and lets them realize that they aren't alone in this world that no matter what problems they have, whether it is bullying at school or physcial problems like thinking they aren't skinny enough so they don't eat, they always have a group of people, whether it be their family, close friends or even teachers at school, behind them to support and love them no matter what they do.

Unlike you, I know true beauty lies both inside and out and I can tell you that Demi is defiently one of the most beautiful women I know both inside and out. She's down to Earth, genuine, sweet, caring towards everyone she meets whether she likes them or not, tries to help people using her talents and doesn't care what people have to say about her. I'm not superficial unlike someone to believe that after having a baby, women immediately snap back to their pre-baby weight, it makes me love Demi even more knowing that she nurtured our two little angels inside her body and that we made our daughters with our immense love for each other"

(Aww you tell him baby. Way to support your women; I already knew that you weren't like any other superficial man who thinks that womens' jobs are to take care of their every needs and wants as well as the housework and the children but it is always nice to know that I found one of the best males in the world that actually likes helping his women around the house with the household chores and taking care of their kids as well as making sure that the women in their lives knows how loved and adored they are and make sure that their wants and needs are taken into high consideration as well as their own.

I especially love the subtle quirps that Sterling took at Joe without being obvious, way to put him in his place sweetie, I can tell who the girls' personalities came from; their daddy.Plus it's always nice to hear your sweetie brag about your many wonderful qualities and the many reasons that they love you from the physical attributes to the emotional qualities, it really brings up a woman's self esteem and makes her feel like 10 feet tall and feel so loved from the bottom of her heart to the tips of her toes, every inch of her feels all warm like you're in front of a blazing fire being held tight but lovingly in the person you love's arms, that's how I feel when I'm around Sterling, whether we are kissing, snuggling on the couch after a hard day at work or even me overhearing my guy gushing about me to someone. )

(While Sterling was defending my honor, Joe and Libby had their mouths open wide like they were surprised that after Joe's immature, selfish speech about how "awesome" he is, not that he is at all awesome to my family who thinks he is "lame" and is made that my family and I didn't slink away with our tails between our legs, bow down to him as the superior being, yeah like that's ever going happen, and instead of bailing my eyes out I actually stand up for myself. Sorry to disappoint you two, what no I'm not sorry at all. I'm a stronger women then you guys thought, so deal with it.)

J: "Did you actually insult me? You, little boy, just insulted a man by immaturely picking at my immaculate character while describing your "women"". (well duh. Good boy Joe, you figured it out that you're not the only one who can insult someone with subtle hints). I think I need to go online and tell my fans who believe anything I say and do cause they are mindless zombies who obey their King's, aka me, every wish, what I know about your beloved wife cause I have so much dirt on her that would totally ruin your sweetie's reputation with the media community and her fans, though she doesn't have many after her little stint at the mental hospital. You should apologize to me or I will do the same for you, I might even go further by saying that you and Demi defamed my perfect , cause I am the only one in the world who is perfect, character so that your sweet, little angels will still be paying my settlement when they are at their jobs flipping burgers as teenagers."

(Aww poor baby, he actually thinks he's perfect, what dribble has his parents being filling his head with growing up? I mean every parent thinks that their child is "perfect" but as their child grows up they learn that their initial perspection was wrong and teaches their children to learn from their mistakes and not be afraid to make mistakes in their lives cause their parents will be there to support and love them, no matter what they do. But I don't think Joe's parents got the memo cause 2 out of 4 boys think that they are "Gods", gag.

Bring it on Joey Bear cause just like you have dirt on me I have so much dirt on you too. It was the only joy of being your "friend" for 4 years and I highly doubt that your fans are as "brainless" as you think, I don't know why they still are fans of someone who obviously thinks he's better then everyone else, is vain, selfish, mean, cruel, a bit of a baby when things don't go his way and thinks of himself as a "God"" but I don't think that they are zombies. If you do tell your daddy how Sterling and I were "meanies" to you, fake crying, then I will gladly bring up the fact that you and your little girlfriend were just as mean to me and we will see who comes out on top.)

S: "Of course you would suggest telling daddy that someone is breaking the image you have built up in your mind for years that you're perfect and that the world resolves around you and your wants and needs but stop thinking that you're some sort of God cause newsflash you are just like anyone else. You can't stand that someone is actually standing up for themselves instead of just keeling over and running away like a scared little baby so you want to go whine and cry like a little boy to your parents to fix your problems for you so you don't have to use your own brain to think about anything besides thinking of new ways to be a bully"

( Joe's eyes bugged out and his face got all red either in embarassment that another one of his victims is standing up for themselves and in public too so that everyone who happened to walk by can see what a big headed baby he was being which wouldn't be good for his "perfect" image.

Next thing I know my poor Sterling was on the floor holding his nose bleeding all over the floor, OMG did that jerk actually hit Sterling in the nose just because he didn't like the truth about himself that Sterling was saying about him so he hit him. I, of course kneeled by his side trying to hold his hand tighter over his nose to stifle the bleeding until we get hold of some toilet paper or kleenex. Oh wait I have kleenex in my purse in case the girls get a bad case of the "boogies". I completely forgot that my two little angels had witnessed the argueing between the 4 adults but I guess they had paid more attention to what was going on better then I thought cause all I heard was a yelp and suddenly Joe was on the ground also holding his left foot and tummy.

It turned out that Kayleigh and Sonny had hated that their daddy had gotten hurt so their revenage was Kayleigh stomping on his foot and Sonny punching him in the stomach, haha Joe got powned by a 3 and 4 year old little girls, not any little girls but my little girls. So diss on you Mr Joe Jonas. That's what you get for messing with the Knights.)

Joe whimpered like a little girl and couldn't decide if he should hold his foot or his tummy and Libby was shouting for help cause two maniac little girls attacked her boyfriend, um ok 1st of all your precious boyfriend hit my husband first and 2nd my girls were only protecting their daddy and you guys started the whole thing with the whole insults of me and trying to put us down so if anyone should leave it's you guys. Sterling and I are part of the movie so we are needed here but you guys are just here for exposure so bye bye.

The security guards actually had a hard time holding in their laughter at the thought that this big, slightly muscled guy had been taken down by two innocent little girls but they managed to hold it together as they escorted Joe and Libby away by saying that they better get to their seats for the showing but that they would be given a warning not to bother Sterling or I since it was obvious that they had started the altercation with us. So with one final "You are gotta regret what you did" look from both Joe and Libby they stomped off to their seats. Hopefully their seats will be in the back so that Sterling and I won't have to deal with them for the rest of then night cause this was suppose to be family night.

The rest of the night went smoothly, our seats were up close to the screen and the ushers actually brought out phone books so that the girls could actually see overtop the front seats and see the screen. Sonny and Kay loved the movie, like I knew they would cause it was a super sweet, entertaining movie that is guaranteed that all little kids would love cause it has memorable songs, a love story with lots of kissing for the "Little Princesses"" and action and fighting scenes for the "Little Knights in Armour" in the audience. At the end of the movie, it got a standing ovation from everybody in the audience so the movie seemed to have gotten 5 stars out of 5 which is what an actor wants to see from a movie that they do. On the ride home, all the girls could talk about was their favorite parts; Kayleigh loved the gooeyparts, you know the romantic parts of the movie, and Sonny liked the humorous parts where the witch would comment about what she thought of the spoiled Princess Rottonella behind her back with funny, exaggerated faces of disguest and mocking her at every turn. I'm glad that they enjoyed the movie so much and I hope that Kayleigh and Sonny don't remember what mean and horrible things were said about their mommy cause I never want them to repeat what they heard to anyone. Sterling and I taught them to be nice to everyone and treat everyone with the respect that they deserve and I will not have a snob, selfish, jerk ruin our parenting in one night. Sweet dream my little angels.

Sad Sonshine

I have never seen my littlest angel look so sad; her adorable little face is all scrunched up,eyes red and face kind of blotchy from her crying spell that seemed to go on forever and no matter what I did there was no way to stop her from crying. I was at my wits end, you know pulling my hair out and so close to promising Sonny anything if she would just stop crying but all I could do was to keep reminding her that Kayleigh didn't leave her forever, she would be back at the end of the day from Junior Kindergarten and then they can play like they always do.

Ever since Demi and I told Kayleigh that mommy was gonna have a baby, Kay has been enthralled with her baby sister though I don't think she really could understand what we were trying to say, I think all she could understand that mommy had a baby in her tummy and that she wasn't gonna be the baby anymore; I mean she was 11 months old at the time and from what I read in baby books their comprehension wasn't quite honed in yet.

I,myself, was absolutely thrilled about the new baby. I always wanted Kayleigh to have a sibling and a playmate like I had growing up with my sister and brother. I always had someone to talk about things that were happening in my life and when making major and minor descions they were the ones who I would bounce ideas and suggestions on what to do with, I had someone to be goofy with and who I could be myself around, no matter how imature I might have been and know that they wouldn't judge me. Pretty much siblings are the friends that you are born with and who will always be there and love you no matter what happens in your life or what you do. I wanted that kind of close, loving and lasting relationship for Demi and mine's daughter and now she was going to get it.

Most people who heard about the new baby were like "I'm sure that since you already have a daughter that you are hoping that the new baby is a boy so that you have a heir and have a boy to do guy stuff with" but I could really care less what gender this baby will be. I know from experience that the girls in my life can go from being a girlie girl, wearing dresses, drinking fake tea with their stuff animal friends and spending more time then I think necessary for make-up and to do their hair in styles in order to be more beautiful, ok so the last thing was speaking of my one true love, well my first true love cause if you want to be technical Kayleigh and Sonny are also my true loves cause it was love at first sight for all three of my girls.

I also want to point out that I think that Demi is the most beautiful women I have ever and will ever met and I'm happy to say that both of our daughters take after their mommy, they might have my hair and eye color but they have the beauty and personality of their mom and that means that every boy will be after my little sweeties and will do everything in their power to win the hearts of my angels, like I did with Demi,which hopefully means that they love my daughters truly and deeply like any father would want in the guy who will ultimately take their daughters away from him though I'm still sure that I will be the only guy who will truly and deeply love both Kayleigh and Sonny but I'm pretty sure that my father in law said the same thing in terms of Demi.

As much as my girls can be girlie girls, they can also be tomboys. Demi isn't afriad to get dirty, whether it will be helping me around the house with the normal repairs that every house needs from building shelves, unclogging the kitchen sink to going under the house to see what has been moaning and whinning all night long scaring the girls to the high heavens cause they think it's a monster, it was a stray cat in case you were wondering. Demi also isn't afraid to play sports with me and our guy friends and I'm not afraid to say that she is pretty good at keeping up with the guys and she is quite capable of beating us at our own game and all while still looking so adorable in her sweats, t-shirt and messy ponytail. That is what we are trying to teach our girls, that just because they are girls that doesn't mean that they can't do whatever they want to do and not to let anyone say that they can't do something just because they are girls and are suppose to be the "weaker" sex.

Kayleigh's favorite activity in the 9 months proceeding Sonný birth was to have "private" conversations with her sister, ok so mostly she just babbled in her toddler speech which kind of sounded like incoherant babble and not words that you can understand but it is still sweet that Kay wants to be a good big sister by telling her baby brother or sister about the world they would be coming into soon and by telling them how much they are already loved.

Kay also thought it was super duper funny to lay one of her chubby hands or even her little curly head on Demi's tummy and feel the baby kick at her hand or check which would make Kayleigh laugh her adorable, giddy laugh, give a big 2 teethed million dollar smile, clap her chubby little hands together in excitement at feeling her sibling kicking at her then go and do it again while pointing at Demi's tummy and say "baby". That's right baby girl, your baby brother or sister is in mommy's tummy and is comunicating with you.

Demi and I never wanted to find out the gender of our second child before that child was born, hey it's one of life's only best kept secrets plus when we were pregnant with Kayleigh we didn't find out and it kept us kind of sane through the delivery cause we were both anxious to find out if we have a daughter or a son, though Demi and I didn't really care what gender our baby was, a boy and girl didn't matter they would be smothered with love and devotion either way.

Kayleigh's way of telling us that she would really wanted the baby to be a girl so that she would have a playmate, a secret keeper, a best friend and confident growing up was to call the baby "sissy" and it didn't matter how many we told her gently that the baby could be a boy, all she would do is make a ""yucky"" face, hey daddy's a boy so not all boys are yucky even though you and your little sister are never gonna get boyfriends if I have anything to say about it cause even though you two are still children, you are just as gorgeous as your mommy, lucky girls, and that means that most of the boys that you girls will meet will only have one thing on their minds cause not all boys had the same pure and innocent intentions that i did at their ages and there is no way that I'm letting my girls get hurt by anyone if I could help it. They're my girls and it's my job as their daddy to protect them from any and every harm and heartaches as much as I can as well as love them and raise them to be respectful, loving and caring young women.

When her baby sister, Allison "Sonny" Mackenzie, was born on June 20, Kayleigh was still half asleep cause Sonny was born at 6am so she was carried out of the house wrapped in a blanket still in her footie pjs by her babysitters aka "Nana" and "Papa"-Demi's parents, where she had been snuggled under her pale pink blanket in dreamland, I was told by my in-laws that Kay had been really hard to get to bed cause she was super excited that she would be getting a new sibling in a couple of hours, by her bedtime Demi and I had gone to the hospital cause Demi had been having contractions for most of the day and they had gotten stronger at that time so it was off to the hospital to have our new baby angel.

It took two fairy tale stories, lots of snuggles and cuddles, Demi's mom spent practically 1 1\2 hours in the rocking chair swadling Kay in her baby pink baby blanket and humming her all the lullabies she knew, before Kay finally drifted to sleep gently sucking on her soother probably dreaming about how much her small, short life would change after tonight but how much funnier it would be when her new sibling arrived. She must have been really tired cause even the hussle and bustle of the busy hospital, even at the wee hours of the morning,didn't wake her up. She was passed from one set of arms to another of our family and closest friends who had drove in the early hours to be there for Demi, me, Kayleigh and the new baby at this wonderful and joyous period of our lives, the welcoming of a new family member not only to the world but to our family, both biological and exteneded.

I was ,of course, where I was suppose to be; beside Demi holding her hand, letting her squeeze the heck out of my hand which for some reason helped her deal with the immense and growing pain of each contraction and stroking her sweaty hair and back with encouraging words that she was doing a wonderful job and that every inch of pain will be worth it when we see our new baby's adorable little face and how much I love her. I'm pretty sure that giving birth isn't the most pain-free thing, I know I'm a man and don't have to go through childbirth so i really don't have any say in how painful labour is but from what I've read and seen I have a new admiration for all women who have done this, I have no idea how they do this more the once. I guess the pain is worth it when they see their child's face for the 1st time.

I did have Kayleigh at the back of my mind during the birth, did Demi, I and even Kayleigh fully realize how much different our lives would be once this little peanut came into our lives? I mean Demi and i will have to balance our time and attention between both Kayleigh and the baby and of course each other, I don't want Demi and mine's marriage or relationship to suffer at all because we were too busy with our seperate careers, taking care of our babies and making sure that their needs and wants are being taken care of to the best of our abilities cause besides each other, our daughters are two of the most important people in our lives that we love with our hearts and would do anything for. What if I couldn't handle being the best daddy I can be to both of my daughters and the best husband I can be to my Demi? I don't want either of my girls to suffer from my shortcomings but all I can do is keep loving Demi, Kayleigh and Sonny with all my heart and being and try my hardest to make sure that all 3 are being taken care of and get the love and attention that they deserve.

I was there at Kayleigh's birth, I alternated between standing at the head of the bed encouraging Demi to keep breatihng, to push as hard as she could to get the baby out so that she won't be in so much pain any longer and we can start to enjoy our new child, and the end of the bed watching with earnest as my newest little angel comes into the world. So why would I miss this little one's birth either? Just like her older sister, Sonny was absolutely gorgeous even covered in goop, blood and crying her little eyes out at the intrusion at being thrusted out of her warm, watery bed into this cruel,cold, unknown world. I didn't want to leave my newest little angel but I knew that she was in the good and capable hands of the doctors and nurses. plus I had family,friends and a big sister to go see.

Of course our family and friends were thrilled about baby Sonny's birth, I got lots of hugs, kisses on the cheecks and shouts of "congradulations" from everyone but the reaction I was most looking forward to was the new big sister Kayleigh who had woken up from all the commotions of the well-wishers and reached out for me to hold her. I carried her into Demi's hospital room so she could meet her new baby sister, Demi was sitting up in the bed, looking so tired and worn out which I knew that she would be cause childbirth was a hard job to do so even the seasoned pro would be tired, but yet she still looked absolutely gorgeous, My love for her grew even stronger then it was before and I was so proud of her like when she had won an Grammy, Emmy and a Tony award for her immense talent both in music and acting, she had given me two beautiful healthy and wonderful baby girls.

Kayleigh couldn't decide who she wanted to see first, her mommy who she hadn't seen for awhile now or the bundle of blankets in her mommy's arms, her eyes were darting from Demi who was smiling sweetly at her and beckoning her to come over and give her some cuddles. Kayleigh of course couldn't say no to some cuddling time with her mommy,like father like daughter in that sense. So she strained to get out of my arms complete with fretting so I walked quickly to the bed, gave Demi a kiss on the lips, took baby Sonny out of her arms and let Kay climb out of my arms and guided her to crawl in her mommý's arms.

"Hey baby girl. Mommy has missed you so much. Did you have a lot of fun with Nana and Papa last night? " Demi said in the mommy voice that I have grown to love while snuggling Kay close and raining kisses on her light brown wavy hair and plumb cheecks.The mommy voice is the voice she always has when she is talking to Kay and will probably use when dealing with Sonny and everytime I hear it i melt. I love watching the two of them together, it makes my heart sing, my spirit rise and I melt into the floor at seeing my two girls interact.

Kayleigh's babbling must have been her way to tell her mommy what she had done with her grandparents and how excited she was at finally meeting her sibling. Now why delay the first meeting between the new sisters? So after raining kisses on Sonny's little stockened head as she cooed and stretched in her blanket in my arms, I walked to the bed and gently sat down beside Demi and slung an arm around my Demi's shoulder.

"Kayleigh there's someone here who would love to meet her older sister. Her name is Sonny. You can hug and give her kisses but remember baby is fragile and too small for you to play with yet so you have you to be gentle with baby" I said as I switched Sonny over to my other arm so that Kayleigh could see her baby sister's tiny face. I swear that both Sonny and Kay were having a sister moment, Sonny had openned her eyes though I know that she couldn't focus on faces yet, so the girls were just staring into each other's baby blue eyes for a moment. It was such a sweet moment,like both girls were realizing that the person in front of them was the voice\ultrasound picture they have seen and heard over the last 9 months.

"Baby" was Kayleigh's way of saying hello to her new sister as she gently poked Sonny in her little, pudgy arm and looked at us as if to say "This is my new sister. Am I dreaming? Last time I checked she was still in my mommy's tummy and now she is out here" with wide eyes like she couldn't believe that this tiny creature was her new sister. Then we gently put Sonny into her arms though one of us was holding her tiny little arms cause she still wasn't old enough to support Sonny by herself. The big surprised look on her small face complete with her rosebud mouth and baby blues wide open looking at us like "OMG I'm actually holding my baby sister. I'm a big sister and I'm holding my baby sister. What a big girl I am. Look mommy and daddy, look at what your big girl is doing!". What a picture we made, our first family protrait with me and all three of my girls, i hope a family member comes in and takes a picture of us so we can have a mentoes of this special occassion.

Once again fate intervened,we heard a gentle knock on the door and then my mom popped her head in; " Sorry to interupt but you guys have a lot of people out here who would love to meet the newest addition to our family. May we intrude on this adorable little family moment?" When I nodded, a whole lot of people came into the room and of course cooed and fell over themselves at baby Sonny, it was like everyone wanted to hold her at the same time but thank goodness people also paid attention to Kayleigh as well,she got lots of hugs and kisses and many people gushed about the fact that she was a big sister and such a big girl which of course Kay ate all the attention up by giving everyone her beautiful 3 teethed grin complete with drool dripping down her chin and her baby blues shining like stars.

The day that Sonny came home which was 2 days after her birth was wonderful though it was also hectic cause according to my mom Kayleigh "was fussy all day, all she would say is either mama, dadda or baby and when Demi, me or Sonny didn't magically appear she would start to cry and continue to call out for her mommy or me and even snuggles, kisses and reassureances that mommy,daddy and baby are coming home soon, which would have calmed her down instantly but not today. It just made her want Demi and me even more so she would cry more and it seemed like nothing would calm her down"

Even the usual putting on "Sonny with a Chance" so Kay can "see" her mommy and me without Demi and me actually being there didn't work.It usually works when Demi or I are away from home because we are filming a movie and Kayleigh misses us terribly and won't go to sleep or wakes up constantly all night crying for Demi and me until she sees or hears our voices so put on an episode and be prepared for lots of squeals, giggles, cooes and cries of "mama", "dadda" and by the end of it, she's fast asleep with a soft smile on her face, probably dreaming about Demi and me holding her tight singing softly in her tiny little ear lullabies.

Oh great, not only do Demi and I have a newborn who wil be up constantly at night for feedings, diaper changes and overall fussing that all newborn babies have cause they can't really communicate what they want or need and are still not used to the world outside the womb and who will need attention 24\7. But we also have an 11 month old who will also desperately want both mine and Demi's attention 24\7 and will probably start fussing, whining and maybe even acting up a bit in order to catch Demi and mine's attention, although up until now Kayleigh has been very calm and collected, she only cries when she needs something important like food and whines when she's really tired or bored but other then that Kayleigh is the laid back little girl that every parent wants; she just goes with the flow of life and doesn't mind sitting quietly on our laps with one of her toys to clutch in her chubby little hand watching one of her parents act on their TV set for possibly hours at a time with mininium whining and fussing.

I know that things will get easier for Demi and me from going from being parents of 1 child to a parent of 2 children once we juggle our new responbilities of both children and their needs and wants with the responbilites of being a married couple who can survive anything life throws us and making sure that our relationship doesn't suffer in stressful times. Not to forget our own personal needs that make us feel like the people around us know that we have needs, wants and desires too and that they need to be met in order for us to feel like we are being heard, to feel like a whole person.

It might take awhile cause 1st we need to get Sonny on the same schedule as Kayleigh and Kay has to get used to the fact that she's no longer an only child, she needs to share mommy and daddy with her new baby sister and that includes Demi and mine's attention though our love for her will never change. We'll never stop loving Kayleigh just because Sonny has joined our family, she is and will always be our first born daughter and we will love each girl the same way, unconditionally, whole-heartedly and forever, and always be there for each one no matter what they want to do with thier lives, they will have Demi and me 100% behind them, supporting them the entire way.

We were right, it took awhile for Kayleigh to get use to baby Sonny especially at night when we had two crying babies on our hands, Sonny would start crying in the middle of night for her midnight feeding which would wake up Kayleigh who would then start to cry at her sleep being disturbed so Demi and I would alternate; she would feed Sonny while I tended to Kayleigh which consisted of me rocking her in her rocking chair and using my daddy tone to let her know that Sonny was still a baby who needed mommy and daddy a little more then she did cause she was getting to be a big girl and soon she would learn how to feed, dress herself and entertain herself. But just because we spend a lot of time with the baby it doesn't mean that mommy and daddy didn't love her any less, she was still our little Kaybug.

It didn't take Kayleigh long to fall as much in love with Sonny as Demi and I had, for us it was as much love at first sight as when we first saw Kayleigh when she was born and when we first laid eyes on each other at the first table read of "Sonny with a Chance", with Demi, Sonny and Kayleigh it was like a lightening bolt had hit me right in the heart that told me that what i was feeling was true love and not to let go of that feeling for anything.

Kayleigh took one look at her baby sister and fell in love with her, she was always toddling over to whoever was holding her and tried to climb onto the couch or chair so that she can sit next to the person and gently stroke Sonny's little hand while babbling at her sister. She loved to hold her sister close to her with support from a grown-up of course and give her little kisses, she was still learning to be gentle with the baby and not be so rough while dealing with Sonny, like reaching into the carrier and and trying to pat her arm but hits Sonny by accident so that Sonny starts to cry so Kayleigh starts to fuss cause she knows that she accidently hurt her sister and she never meant to do so.

Sonny was the first person Kayleigh wanted to see in the morning when she woke up in the morning, when Demi or me went into her bedroom to pick her up from her crib, we didn't even get any morning hugs or kisses before she says "baby" and struggles in our arms to get down so that she can toddle to Sonny's room and then alternate between gazing lovingly at her sister and looking at us like "Hurry up I want to see my sister so please pick her up"". Wherever we go, if we're carrying her she crawls or stumbles after us, even when she's playing she plays close to her sister's carrier and if she starts crying she tries to calm her down by putting her soother in her mouth, babbling to her and patting her arm and if that doesn't work then she calls out "mama" and "dadda"so we can come and make her sissy stop crying.

Sonny always seems so much more happy and smiley when she's around her sister, Kayleigh could make a funny face and Sonny would burst into giggles like Kay said the funniest thing ever. When she was learning how to crawl she would follow Kay around the house like a duckling and when she was learning to walk she would only take a step after she heard Kayleigh cheering her on and was sitting on either Demi or mine's lap for her to walk to.

Kayleigh is the first person Sonny will go to when she has a problem and if their little brains couldn't come up with a solution then they would come to Demi and me for advice. Who does Sonny go to when she has nightmares,before she goes to sleep or can't sleep? Answer her older sister to snuggle under her duvet sharing secrets,inside jokes that only they seem to understand and think is funny, protecting each other from the "monsters". Many nights Demi and I would need to go into Kayleigh's room to remind Sonny that she needs to go into her own bed to sleep and she will see her sister in the morning many times a night until she regretfully trudges to her own room but not after she gives Kayleigh a huge hug and kiss. I thought that I was close to my brother and sister growing up but seeing my two little sweeties together makes me smile and melt inside but then again I'm so in love with my girls that anything they do makes me smile and go all gooey inside. It's so sweet to see the sisterly love and bond between my two angels.

Kayleigh is very protective of the people she loves especially her younger sister, ever since Kay was a baby and we told her that she needed to protect her new baby sister as well as always being there for her. I guess she took her "older sister" vows seriously cause no one hurts her baby sister and gets away with it, she may not be so abrupt about things like Sonny but she'll tell them in a no nonesense voice that what they did to Sonny was wrong and that the person should aplogize to Sonny with a straight face and will stand there with her tiny hands on her hips until they do.

Plus Kayleigh tries her hardest to keep her younger sister out of trouble cause sometimes Sonny's curiousity and spontenous gets her into trouble but Sonny knows that she has older sissy to have her back and get her out of it though sometimes I think Sonny does things that she knows will drive her sister crazy cause she knows that she can drive Kayleigh crazy but that Kay will always have her back and love her even if she wants to strangle Sonny for getting into trouble once again ;).

I can't wait to share with Sonny how her name came to be; Kayleigh Anne's name came from the baby book that I bought the day that Demi told me that she was pregnant and after looking through it from A-Z and eliminating the ones we didn't like or didn't go with our last name we ended up with Kayleigh Anne. But this time we thought it would be significant if we incorporated names that had some sort of meaning for our youngest child, if the baby was a boy it would be Cooper Dylan and if the baby was a girl it would be Allison Mackenzie.

If you haven't guessed Demi and I got those names from the TV show "Sonny with a Chance" that brought us together in the first place, if it wasn't for the director and producers who had auditioned and casted Demi in the show and me as her rival\future boyfriend then I would have never met the women of my dreams. So thanks Disney for bringing true love into my life.

A piece of trivia that most people didn't know; Sonny's real name is Allison but she was called Sonny cause the last 3 letter of her name starts her very appropriate nickname; I mean Sonny is the perfect name for my sweetie, or should I say Chad's sweetie, she's a little ball of sunshine that brightens everyone's world, no matter if they don't want to be, and makes people really sit down and think about how they treat the other people that is in their life and if they treat others bad then it makes them want to stop that from happening again even if it's only in small bouts each day, it's a start to be the best versions of themselves as they can get.

Sonny may meddle sometimes and hasn't really learned that sometimes it's better not to interfer with other people's business\lives but it's kind of sweet and touching that she wants to try to make the person she deeply cares and loves very much happier and yes sometimes she goes overboard on the ""trying to help" but she only has her friends' best interests at heart and she only wants the best for them. Sonny also has the smile and giggle that would melt the hardest of hearts and want someone to do anything in their power to make that gorgeous smile and bells of laughter ring out once again. In short she makes the world a better place for everyone involved.

It seemed like the perfect name for our little angel in the long run cause it was like Demi and I had taken the character of "Sonny Monroe" and made her a real life girl, Demi and mine's little girl. Sonny is a little sweetie at the age of 3 but she also has a mind of her own, she will defiently tell you what she thinks of that person especially if someone dares to hurt a person she dearly loves. An example of this is the first time she meet one of Demi's ex-boyfriends, she actually told him that he was a big dumbie for hurting her mommy and that he should apologize with a straight face complete with her little hands on her hips and tapping her foot waiting for him to do what she says and aplogize to Demi and when he said there was no way he would do that cause Demi was apparantly "lucky" to date him and that she should aplogize to him for not being the women he wanted, ok so Sonny is too young to know what he's talking about, Sonny said with too much attitude for someone so young that he was dreaming.

Then there was the time where she actually thanked one of my ex-girlfriends for breaking up with her daddy cause then I wouldn't have met her mommy who luvs me very much and didn't even care that she got a "Who the heck is this kid?" look and was kind of being ignored by Brenda as she talked. She said her peace and that was it. Lastly there was a the time when Sonny was two and still learning how to feed herself and the girls were visiting their mommy backstage at one of her concerts. This one guy thought that if he took good care of Sonny and Kayleigh that Demi would fall over him though he was majorly dreaming if he thought babysitting Demi and mine's little munchkins would give him the attenion and fawning that is reserved only for me, Kay and Sonny then he is mistaken.

He actually commanded Kayleigh or Sonny that since he was busy reading comics instead of watching over my two little angels that they needed to feed him bites of meatball sandwich that I had sent with the girls as their lunches. Um hello you'r e a big boy so you can feed yourself just like any other person as my daughters are not your slaves. Well I guess I didn't need to teach the boy that lesson cause my girls taught it to him by Kayleigh giving him her patent "Ok I may be 3 but even I know that's not happening dude" then goes back to her book but Sonny took the cake she sweetly said "Ok mister I'll feed you but you have to close your eyes so you can enjoy your food" then when Justin smiled at his way being done and closed his eyes prepared to be waited on hand and foot, Sonny would either fling the food at his face or overfill the spoon then practically shove it in his mouth along with making airplane noises like he was a little boy, well he was acting like a little boy so why not treat him like one.

When he sputtered out "What are you doing?!", Sonny would innocently say "What? You said that you wanted me to feed you which I am" complete with slight batting of her eyelashes and a pout that he isn't happy with her efforts. He yelled "No I'm not happy, look at me I'm covered in food. I look stupid!" at her which made Kayleigh speak up by saying that "there was no need to yell at her younger sister for something he asked her to do. Besides it's rude to yell at someone so could he please use his indoor voice". Kay was of course ignored and Demi couldn't help but laugh when she saw Justin covered in food, guessed what had happened and made both Justin and Sonny aplogize (Sonny for intentionally spilling food on someone and Justin for making her feed him and yelling at her) which they both did.

I knew that Sonny and Kayleigh were not only sisters but also best friends, it always seemed that wherever one was the other one wasn't too far away, they were two peas in a pod who yes had little disagreements just like any other siblings but they are minor like both girls wanting to play with the same toy but the problems are easily resolved and they go onto playing happily with the other. Kayleigh and Sonny were always coming up with funny, pretend games with their dress-up chest, filled with costumes from Demi's childhood and my sister's play clothes that they could play for hours without getting bored.

Poor Sonny was not at all happy to hear that starting in September, sissy was going to school everyday cause it meant that she was losing her playmate for the day which she was not happy about at all. Even when Demi and I told her that Kayleigh would be going to a place where she can play with other boys and girls her own age and learn new stuff like how to write her name, her "ABCs" and numbers and that Kay would be back at the end of the day to play with her once agian to which Sonny would reply "But daddy sissy can have fun with me, I'm fun and why does she have to go to a building to learn when she can learn all that stuff here at home with me?"

I tried to explain that all little boys and girls go to school to learn when they get to be Kayleigh's age and yes Kayleigh can learn new stuff with her at home but Kay will learn even more at school. I even reminded her that next year she would be in school too and will do everything that Kayleigh is doing now; singing songs, learning to write and read like a big girl so that she and Kay can read the bedtime stories instead of me and mommy, paint and draw mommy and me pretty pictures for us to display proudly in our dressingrooms for everyone to get jealous of and playing with other children besides her sister.

Sonny did agree that going to school did sound fun and it would allow her to be with her sissy, um honey before Kayleigh went to school you girls hung out all the time and besides there is no guarantee that you will be in the same class as Kay so the only time you girls could hang out is at recess and I know that you love your sister but I think it's time for you girls to get other friends and other interests besides the other one, no matter how much of a challenge and change it will be for both Sonny and Kayleigh, it will be for the best for all. Besides it's not as if the girls can't still be best friends cause I love the idea of both my daughters being best friends even when they are adult women but they do need other friends besides their sister.

Sonny pouted everytime we mentioned Kayleigh going to Kindergarten, she even would take out Kayleigh's school supplies from the shopping cart at Wal-Mart and put them back on the shelf. It took Demi and me awhile to figure out what our youngest was doing when we noticed that no matter how many school supplies we put in the cart it always seemed to be a smaller amount when we would look into the cart. Plus we kind of caught Sonny trying to put a new set of scented markers back on the shelves, for the record we didn't yell at her or spank her, Demi picked her up while I continued on shopping with Kayleigh who had no idea what was going on.

Demi took Sonny to a corner of the store and talked to her in her loving, soothing, sweet,caring motherly tone that I love hearing, it makes me melt a little or at least makes my heart happy, that taking her sister's school supplies from the cart and hiding them is not a nice thing to do. How would she like it if Kayleigh took something that was for her and hide it? Sonny admitted that she wouldn't like it but she just didn't want Kayleigh to leave her by finding other girls to hang out with and forget about her and not want to play with her anymore. Aww Sonny, that's so sad yet sweet. Demi, of course, told her that Kay would never forget about her, she and Sonny have been best friends since the girls were babies and friends like them would never ever go away, no matter what life brings them.

Demi did mention that sometimes trying new things is scary but it can also be fun. Who knows maybe the girls that Kayleigh brings home will enjoy having Sonny around and invite her to play with them in their games, we'll have to see. After some hugs,kisses and some reassurance that she understand the life lesson about true friendship and the changes that life will bring can be a good thing that her mommy was telling her in her sweet, understanding way, Sonny and Demi came back to find Kayleigh and me in the little girls aisle for Kayleigh's special first-day-of-school-outfit.

Kayleigh picked out a nice fushia pink long sleeved top and black checkered pants complete with white frilly socks and black mary-jane shoes and judging by the smile on her face and the numerous spins that she did in front of the mirror I take it she loved her new outfit. Sonny was a good girl after her mommy-Sonny talk, she didn't make the "yucky" face complete with little tongue sticking out and baby blue eyes crossed, when the word "school" came up, she tried to put a smile on her face and be "happy" for her sister even when she wasn't. Aww Sonny learned another life lesson today; sometimes you gotta do things and say things that you don't really want to say and do in the name of love and making someone else happy and put their needs in front of your own.

The day of Kayleigh's first day of school was so sad for my littlest angel, she didn't wake up her happy-go-lucky self ready to take on what the day will bring her, she quietly held up her arms for Demi to pick her up and snuggled close to her when usually she clings to Demi or me like a little monkey exclaiming everything she wants to do for the day and what she dreamed about the night before as we get her ready for the day. She didn't say anything during breakfast even as Kayleigh kept chatting on about how excited she was at going to school, meeting new friends, trying new things and she wondered if her teacher will be nice and if she will have fun.

When it was time for Kay to leave with Demi, Sonny latched onto her and begged her not to leave her. Kayleigh told her that she loved her very much, would never ever leave her and would see her sister tonight so she could tell her all about her fun filled day all this while giving her a giant hug also. Demi and I let the girls hug out all their fears plus they looked absolutely adorable hanging onto each other so why ruin the sweet sisterly moment. After a few moments, Sonny was forced to let go of her sister by Demi putting her hand on her shoulder and saying in a gentle voice said "Sonny sweetie, sissy has to go now but you will have a day of fun with daddy then sissy will come back home and you girls can play together. Ok?" then we both waved at the bay window as Demi and Kayleigh drove away.

Then I saw big fat tears coming out of my little sweetie's big blue eyes and then the room was filled with heart-wrentching sobs complete with little chest heaving gasping for air as Sonny continued to sob her little heart out. "Aww sweetheart, don't cry, you're breaking daddy's heart. Honey, mommy, daddy and sissy already told you that you have nothing to worry about, sissy is going to come home with lots of stories and new games for you girls to play all night. Sissy will never ever forget that you were her first best friend cause she loves you very very much. Come on baby girl, daddy is all ready to play with you but first you need to stop crying and give daddy one of your "sunshine" smiles." I said as I gathered my little sweetheart in my arms and walked with her around the living room like I did when Kayleigh and Sonny were babies and wouldn't go to sleep crooning into her little ear tender words of comfort and love which gradually calmed Sonny down until all I could hear were little adorable hiccups of someone trying to stop crying after a crying spell and felt shudders as Sonny's tiny body calmed down.

I think that Demi and I should have put both Kayleigh and Sonny into a preschool or daycare for a couple of hours a week so that the girls weren't so dependant on the other one for company and socializing cause I knew that the girls were super duper close but from the way Sonny reacted about Kayleigh leaving for school, it was like her arm or foot had been cut off and she was mourning its death. I mean even though I am glad that my daughters are best friends but still children need to have more friends their own age to play with and talk to besides their siblings, it's healthy for every child. Hopefully both girls will find their own friends at school that likes the other sibling hanging out with the group, that way the girls can still be best friends growing up.

When Sonny had calmed down we got down to some serious playing. We played soccor in the backyard one on one and Sonny may be small but man is she a fighter, she was trying her hardest to keep up with me as we ran towards the "goal"- the midle of two trees, and was kicking at my heels trying to steal the ball, good thing I wasn't running at my top speed but at my "playing with the girls" speed, not too fast and not too slow but the right amount of speed to make the game funnier.

When I was in goal and Sonny was shooting at me, i did the whole dramatic throw myself on the ground trying to stop the ball bit but letting some of the balls, "graze" off my hands into the goal, hey I love my Sonshine's celebratory dance (screams of joy, jumping up and down, whooping and overall shaking her little bootie with joy), it was adorable to watch. Then when it was my turn to kick the ball, I tried to kick the ball so that Sonny could catch the ball in her tiny little hands and say that daddy didn't score against her.

Then it was time for some reading of what seemed like all of her fairy tale books. We must have sat on that pink, blue and purple quilt that Demi had gotten at a flea market years ago reading fairy tales from the ever popular "Cinderella" to "Thumbelina" for what seemed like hours or at least until my thorat was sctachy and dry that I couldn't utter another word without coughing so I had to tell Sonny that reading time was over for now but that mommy or daddy will read to her and Kayleigh tonight before bed-time.

Then it was time for the Chef Sterling and his adorable assistant Sonny's cooking show where we made brownies for Kayleigh's return from her first day at school which of course, once her sister's name was mentioned she was so on board with helping me with cooking plus I know that both her and Kayleigh loved hanging out with Demi and me,we could be gardening or doing something else boring like cleaning and the girls would jump at the chance to help mommy and daddy out.

Making the brownies was a lot of fun, messy but fun. Sonny, trying to be a big girl tried to hold the measuring cup filled to the brim with the incrediants and bring it to the bowl but it was too heavy for her so her little hand shook most of the incrediants out onto the floor and she actually sneezed and some of the flour blow up into her face turning it all white with wide eyes at what she made the flour do; it got all over herself and the floor.

But overall the brownies came out all gooey, chocolately and moist and both Sonny and I had a blast making them, sneaking tastes off our spoons to give to the other so we could taste the batter and make sure that it was "tasty", like it wouldn't be it was afterall my grandmother's recipe. They were our desert for lunch which consisted of peanut butter finger sandwichs, and fruit punch in her purple sippy cup and me in large cup sitting on the same blanket as we did during reading time. Then after giving the dishes a "bath", it was time for painting, Sonny wore one of my old shirts so that she didn't get dirty cause I'm pretty sure that Demi wouldn't want a paint soaked outfit in the laundry basket no matter how calm and encouraging she is with the girls about being creative and exploring their world and I didn't feel like dealing with an angry wife, I prefer a loving, calm wife.

We used up all 5 peices of paper, Sonny did pictures for Demi and me to put on our dressingroom walls as decorations of a dolphin jumping from the ocean, a butterfly flittering around a bunch of flowers, a family protrait in front of our house, a rainbow in a bright spring sky and then a little girl with a puppy, sweetie mommy and I know that you and Kayleigh want a doggie but we don't think that you girls are ready for that immense responsibility of taking care of a doggy, yes they are cute but they are also a lot of responsibilty.

Finally after clean up it was time for something I know has been in the back of Sonny's mind for the day no matter how much fun she was having with me; it was time to pick up Kayleigh from school since Demi wouldn't be home from set until 4 and it was almost 3. All I had to say was "time to pick up sissy" and Sonny was off in flash to the front hall to get her shoes on, she put them on the wrong feet though, and practically threw the car keys at me, she missed me the first time so it landed only a few feet away which she rushed over to collect them then actually ran over to where I was standing by the wall looking at her with a smile on my face at how excitedly adorable she was being, then again I'm so in love with my girls that I think practically anything and everything they do is adorable.

Once the car keys were in my hand and I changed Sonny's shoes to the right feet, I was practically pushed out the door by a stronger then I thought little girl, man does Sonny have some muscles for a 3 year old. On the way there, my little girl turned into a chatterbox of what she wanted to tell her sister about her day, how excited she was to see Kayleigh again and how she hoped her sister had fun at school. When we got to the school, Kayleigh's class was just coming out to the buses and one look at her sister and Sonny practically ripped off her seatbelt , threw open the door and ran out to glomp onto her sister, hugging her really tightly and exclaiming how much she missed her. Kayleigh hugged Sonny really hard back and said that she missed her sissy too. After I got a hug from Kayleigh, we climbed inside the car and drove home for a whole night of playing and more story reading. I can't wait to hear about Kayleigh's first day at school if I can get her away from Sonny for a moment. Sisterly love gotta love it.